In light of the recent weather, I found this and thought that it was appropriate for the season.
65 ABOVE ZERO:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Kansas plant gardens.
60 ABOVE ZERO:
Californians shiver uncontrollably….
People in Kansas sunbathe.
50 ABOVE ZERO:
Italian & English cars won’t start.
People in Kansas drive with the windows down.
40 ABOVE ZERO:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Kansas throw on a flannel shirt.
35 ABOVE ZERO:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Kansas have the last cookout before it gets cold.
20 ABOVE ZERO:
People in Miami all die.
Kansans close their windows.
ZERO:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Kansas get out their winter coats.
10 BELOW ZERO:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Kansas are selling cookies door to door.
20 BELOW ZERO:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Kansas let the dogs sleep indoors.
30 BELOW ZERO:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Kansans get upset because they have to let their cars warm-up.
40 BELOW ZERO:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Kansas start saying: “Cold enough for ya?”
50 BELOW ZERO:
Hell freezes over.
Kansas public schools will open 2 hours late.
1.15.2010
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