D
4.30.2009
BREAKING NEWS!
This photo documents the first transmission of Pig Flu to the human population. Now you know how it all got started!
D
D
4.29.2009
Middle School Orientation
There were no handouts, so I had to pay attention to the presentation. This is what I learned about JDs transition to middle school, the do's and dont's, if you will. And since Kim did not go, I feel this will be educational for her.
You must drop 6th grade students off on west side of the building
NO riding bike on school property
NO cleavage showing
NO short shorts
NO crop tops
NO Tobacco or Alcohol Ads on your shirts (or presumably NO Tobacco or Alcohol products inside the shirt, but I don't think that was mentioned)
NO kids in building before 7:25 unless they eat breakfast at school
NO bullying
NO picking up or dropping off in the circle drive or you may get a ticket from one of Salina's finest
NO wheeled book bags because they don't fit in the locker
NO prescription (or non-prescription) drugs without a doctor's note
I'm sure you're saying "Gosh, there sure are a lot of 'No's' on the list", but just so you know South Middle isn't JUST about things you can't do...
You get candy for A's
You get Cougar Cash for doing good deeds
You can go to Dances
You can go to Skate Parties
You can go to The City
You can go to Sporting Events
You can go to Field Trips
You can go, provided your grades are good and you act like responsible young men and women
6th graders don't dress for PE. I assume they mean the kids won't have to change into PE clothes, not that they will have PE naked!
You can take a 9th hour -- woohoo!
The lockers are Blue
The Houses are Blue 1, Blue 2, and Blue 3
School begins August 12 and ONLY the 6th graders will be there
You shouldn't share your locker combination
If you're child is sick call in by 8:00
They also encourage the kid's to tattle, although they don't call it tattling. It's called being safe by reporting something that can cause others to not be safe, or something like that. The acronym would be BSBRSTCCOTNBS. Looks like there are a lot of BS's in there!
They also have Cougar HONOR. Which stands for:
Honesty
Ownership
Communication
Organization
Respect
Which spells HOCOR. To get HONOR, you have to use the "N" in "communication"! Oh boy, they should have hired a marketing company to help with that one...
Any way, after reading this, you know more about Middle School than Kim. Share some of this info next time you see her.
D
You must drop 6th grade students off on west side of the building
NO riding bike on school property
NO cleavage showing
NO short shorts
NO crop tops
NO Tobacco or Alcohol Ads on your shirts (or presumably NO Tobacco or Alcohol products inside the shirt, but I don't think that was mentioned)
NO kids in building before 7:25 unless they eat breakfast at school
NO bullying
NO picking up or dropping off in the circle drive or you may get a ticket from one of Salina's finest
NO wheeled book bags because they don't fit in the locker
NO prescription (or non-prescription) drugs without a doctor's note
I'm sure you're saying "Gosh, there sure are a lot of 'No's' on the list", but just so you know South Middle isn't JUST about things you can't do...
You get candy for A's
You get Cougar Cash for doing good deeds
You can go to Dances
You can go to Skate Parties
You can go to The City
You can go to Sporting Events
You can go to Field Trips
You can go, provided your grades are good and you act like responsible young men and women
6th graders don't dress for PE. I assume they mean the kids won't have to change into PE clothes, not that they will have PE naked!
You can take a 9th hour -- woohoo!
The lockers are Blue
The Houses are Blue 1, Blue 2, and Blue 3
School begins August 12 and ONLY the 6th graders will be there
You shouldn't share your locker combination
If you're child is sick call in by 8:00
They also encourage the kid's to tattle, although they don't call it tattling. It's called being safe by reporting something that can cause others to not be safe, or something like that. The acronym would be BSBRSTCCOTNBS. Looks like there are a lot of BS's in there!
They also have Cougar HONOR. Which stands for:
Honesty
Ownership
Communication
Organization
Respect
Which spells HOCOR. To get HONOR, you have to use the "N" in "communication"! Oh boy, they should have hired a marketing company to help with that one...
Any way, after reading this, you know more about Middle School than Kim. Share some of this info next time you see her.
D
4.27.2009
I feel like I ran a marathon!
Editor's note: This is intended to be a tongue-and-cheek narrative of my weekend in Oklahoma City and in NO WAY should detract from Kim's accomplishment!
Wow! I didn't even run and I'm beat. But for those of you that think being a non-participant in a marathon is easy, I've got news for you. On Saturday we (Kim) had to check in at the Cox Convention Center. Of the 20,000 race participants, it appeared about 20% waited until the final 2 hours to check in. We stood in a line long enough to make aging rock stars envious. Once inside the convention center there were more lines. Runners were segregated by the race they had entered, so more waiting. Then Kim finds out that her print out from her registration is not enough: she needs a photo ID to prove that she is not someone else. I could see checking IDs if you were giving away money, or something valuable, but who would walk up to a registration table and claim they were someone else for the privilege of running 13 miles and getting a free t-shirt? Anyway, that was when I ran MY marathon. I ran, mostly, back to the car and retrieved an aging school ID from Kim's floorboard and ran back to the Convention Center. Don't laugh... we were parked 4 blocks away! After registration we looked at the vendor's booths and listened to the kids whine. Then we went back to the hotel, stopping to eat along the way. That evening, feeling invigorated from my run, I went to the exercise room in the hotel and got in a workout. (I included that so you would all know that I am not a total bum).
That ended our evening and we all turned in early knowing that 5:15 would come earlier than any of us wanted. Especially Kay. Most of her whining had to do with the fact that she had to be up at dark-thirty the next morning. Rest was hard to come by for me, I don't know about Kim, remember this story is about me with a little of Kim thrown in! I never sleep well in a bed that is not my own, I'm particular about my pillow, and the mattress, and the air temperature and no place matches mine at home. I also had some weird dreams that kept waking me from my slumber. Two that I can remember gave me great cause for concern. First, Kim borrowed my razor when she showered Saturday night (this really happened and caused me to dream about it) and that left me dreaming that my razor was to dull for me to shave with the next morning. So in my dream I ended up looking like a homeless dog with mange. Little tufts of facial hair growing here and there with red irritated spaces in between. Needless to say, I did not shave Sunday morning! Second, I dreamt that Kim left for the race without a bra on. She slept, as she always does, without a bra, but she wore a running shirt as a night gown. I dreamed that she got up, put her shorts and shoes on and left -- without changing shirts or putting on a bra. This naturally caused her to call and ask that I bring her one. Again, sleep interrupted! I know you may be worried now, but let me assure you that she did change shirts and put on a sports bra Sunday morning!
I was awake at 5:00, restless with anticipation and anxious for the long journey ahead for Kim. Before she left at 5:40, JD was awake wanting to watch TV. Kay was up soon after. We were in the hotel lobby eating breakfast before 6:00 and downtown at the Convention Center at 6:40 watching the runners file past. We never saw Kim, but there were almost 20,000 runners so we could be excused if we missed her. I actually think she was past this point by the time we got there, but you never know. From there we moved to the Memorial to find parking. I expected parking to be a nightmare, but apparently Marathon spectators don't show up at the finish line until closer to the race's finish. Go figure. There was a large lot that said "Monthly Rates Available" and it was virtually empty. I assumed that downtown workers rent those spots Monday through Friday and that they were generally open on Sunday mornings, so I parked. I guess it was OK because the car did not get towed, but not many others were brave enough to chance it. We toured the Oklahoma City Memorial. JD liked it, Kay was scared. She thought the people that died there were buried under the "chairs" which caused her great concern. We moved on and located the finish line before visiting the Church across from the Memorial. First Church sits directly east of the Memorial and was almost totally destroyed in the bombing. Now they have a "Second Wind" outreach program that they host during the Marathon. Saturday night they have a "Blessing of the Shoes" service for the runners. Sunday morning, they have games for the kids, face painting, pancakes, tattoos, popcorn, and other distractions to keep little ones busy while waiting. Last year they served pancakes to over 4,000 people. This year they planned for 12,000! At 7:45 AM, I got a text that Kim had passed the 10K mark and was on the home stretch. According to the text I should expect here at 8:52 AM. We played at the church until 8:30 and then made our way to the finish line, which was considerably more crowded than an hour earlier. There were people EVERYWHERE! Kay was lagging behind and JD was 20 people in front of me so it was a task keeping Kay close and JD in sight.
We positioned ourselves so that we could see the runners approaching and see the finish line and waited. And waited. And waited. 8:52 came and went. So did 8:53, and 8:54, and 8:55. Runner after runner passed and not one of them was Kim. We watched and waited. Kay cried because she thought she saw mom go by and I didn't take pictures, or go to meet her, or do anything except keep looking. Finally at 9:08 Kim came into view and ran by. It was hard to see her clearly through the crowd and my teary eyes. Kay was happy. JD missed taking her picture with my phone, but we rushed to greet her. She finished in 2:24:34 and it took us almost that long to navigate through the crowd to find her. On the way, I got teary eyed again, thinking of what she had accomplished and how proud I was of that accomplishment. When we were all together, we let Kim catch her breath then we walked back to the church, back to the Memorial, and back to the car. We went back to the hotel so Kim could shower -- boy did she need it -- and pack. We ate in Bricktown and headed home.
The kids slept through most of Oklahoma. The trip through Kansas was nerve-racking. We were driving into bad weather and I was doing my best to dodge the storms by driving really fast to beat them. We stopped at the Belle Plain service area and let one cross I-135 and passed on the back side of it. To her credit, Kim stayed awake most of the way home. I,on the other hand, drank coffee to keep me awake. It had been a long day and I was feeling it. When we got home we put clothes away and rested. The kids were in bed by 8:15 and Kim and I were in bed by 9:00 PM but JD couldn't sleep. He gets really frustrated when he can't sleep, then he gets mad, then he really can't sleep, then he gets more mad. It's a vicious cycle. At 9:15, I went and climbed in bed with him. While I was trying to calm him down and get him to sleep, Kay woke up to go to the bathroom. She saw me in JDs room and then she was mad because I was in bed with JD and now she couldn't sleep! About 9:45, JD was out, so I moved to Kay's bed and got her calmed down (I thought that 11 and 8 year-olds were beyond that, but I guess not). By 10:00, everyone that had taken a nap was out, but I was just moving back to my own bed. I hit the pillow exhausted and didn't wake up 'til morning. Thankfully!
Kim had talked about taking today off, so she could recuperate. Next time she runs a marathon (or half-marathon), I'm going to take Monday off so I can recuperate!
D
Wow! I didn't even run and I'm beat. But for those of you that think being a non-participant in a marathon is easy, I've got news for you. On Saturday we (Kim) had to check in at the Cox Convention Center. Of the 20,000 race participants, it appeared about 20% waited until the final 2 hours to check in. We stood in a line long enough to make aging rock stars envious. Once inside the convention center there were more lines. Runners were segregated by the race they had entered, so more waiting. Then Kim finds out that her print out from her registration is not enough: she needs a photo ID to prove that she is not someone else. I could see checking IDs if you were giving away money, or something valuable, but who would walk up to a registration table and claim they were someone else for the privilege of running 13 miles and getting a free t-shirt? Anyway, that was when I ran MY marathon. I ran, mostly, back to the car and retrieved an aging school ID from Kim's floorboard and ran back to the Convention Center. Don't laugh... we were parked 4 blocks away! After registration we looked at the vendor's booths and listened to the kids whine. Then we went back to the hotel, stopping to eat along the way. That evening, feeling invigorated from my run, I went to the exercise room in the hotel and got in a workout. (I included that so you would all know that I am not a total bum).
That ended our evening and we all turned in early knowing that 5:15 would come earlier than any of us wanted. Especially Kay. Most of her whining had to do with the fact that she had to be up at dark-thirty the next morning. Rest was hard to come by for me, I don't know about Kim, remember this story is about me with a little of Kim thrown in! I never sleep well in a bed that is not my own, I'm particular about my pillow, and the mattress, and the air temperature and no place matches mine at home. I also had some weird dreams that kept waking me from my slumber. Two that I can remember gave me great cause for concern. First, Kim borrowed my razor when she showered Saturday night (this really happened and caused me to dream about it) and that left me dreaming that my razor was to dull for me to shave with the next morning. So in my dream I ended up looking like a homeless dog with mange. Little tufts of facial hair growing here and there with red irritated spaces in between. Needless to say, I did not shave Sunday morning! Second, I dreamt that Kim left for the race without a bra on. She slept, as she always does, without a bra, but she wore a running shirt as a night gown. I dreamed that she got up, put her shorts and shoes on and left -- without changing shirts or putting on a bra. This naturally caused her to call and ask that I bring her one. Again, sleep interrupted! I know you may be worried now, but let me assure you that she did change shirts and put on a sports bra Sunday morning!
I was awake at 5:00, restless with anticipation and anxious for the long journey ahead for Kim. Before she left at 5:40, JD was awake wanting to watch TV. Kay was up soon after. We were in the hotel lobby eating breakfast before 6:00 and downtown at the Convention Center at 6:40 watching the runners file past. We never saw Kim, but there were almost 20,000 runners so we could be excused if we missed her. I actually think she was past this point by the time we got there, but you never know. From there we moved to the Memorial to find parking. I expected parking to be a nightmare, but apparently Marathon spectators don't show up at the finish line until closer to the race's finish. Go figure. There was a large lot that said "Monthly Rates Available" and it was virtually empty. I assumed that downtown workers rent those spots Monday through Friday and that they were generally open on Sunday mornings, so I parked. I guess it was OK because the car did not get towed, but not many others were brave enough to chance it. We toured the Oklahoma City Memorial. JD liked it, Kay was scared. She thought the people that died there were buried under the "chairs" which caused her great concern. We moved on and located the finish line before visiting the Church across from the Memorial. First Church sits directly east of the Memorial and was almost totally destroyed in the bombing. Now they have a "Second Wind" outreach program that they host during the Marathon. Saturday night they have a "Blessing of the Shoes" service for the runners. Sunday morning, they have games for the kids, face painting, pancakes, tattoos, popcorn, and other distractions to keep little ones busy while waiting. Last year they served pancakes to over 4,000 people. This year they planned for 12,000! At 7:45 AM, I got a text that Kim had passed the 10K mark and was on the home stretch. According to the text I should expect here at 8:52 AM. We played at the church until 8:30 and then made our way to the finish line, which was considerably more crowded than an hour earlier. There were people EVERYWHERE! Kay was lagging behind and JD was 20 people in front of me so it was a task keeping Kay close and JD in sight.
We positioned ourselves so that we could see the runners approaching and see the finish line and waited. And waited. And waited. 8:52 came and went. So did 8:53, and 8:54, and 8:55. Runner after runner passed and not one of them was Kim. We watched and waited. Kay cried because she thought she saw mom go by and I didn't take pictures, or go to meet her, or do anything except keep looking. Finally at 9:08 Kim came into view and ran by. It was hard to see her clearly through the crowd and my teary eyes. Kay was happy. JD missed taking her picture with my phone, but we rushed to greet her. She finished in 2:24:34 and it took us almost that long to navigate through the crowd to find her. On the way, I got teary eyed again, thinking of what she had accomplished and how proud I was of that accomplishment. When we were all together, we let Kim catch her breath then we walked back to the church, back to the Memorial, and back to the car. We went back to the hotel so Kim could shower -- boy did she need it -- and pack. We ate in Bricktown and headed home.
The kids slept through most of Oklahoma. The trip through Kansas was nerve-racking. We were driving into bad weather and I was doing my best to dodge the storms by driving really fast to beat them. We stopped at the Belle Plain service area and let one cross I-135 and passed on the back side of it. To her credit, Kim stayed awake most of the way home. I,on the other hand, drank coffee to keep me awake. It had been a long day and I was feeling it. When we got home we put clothes away and rested. The kids were in bed by 8:15 and Kim and I were in bed by 9:00 PM but JD couldn't sleep. He gets really frustrated when he can't sleep, then he gets mad, then he really can't sleep, then he gets more mad. It's a vicious cycle. At 9:15, I went and climbed in bed with him. While I was trying to calm him down and get him to sleep, Kay woke up to go to the bathroom. She saw me in JDs room and then she was mad because I was in bed with JD and now she couldn't sleep! About 9:45, JD was out, so I moved to Kay's bed and got her calmed down (I thought that 11 and 8 year-olds were beyond that, but I guess not). By 10:00, everyone that had taken a nap was out, but I was just moving back to my own bed. I hit the pillow exhausted and didn't wake up 'til morning. Thankfully!
Kim had talked about taking today off, so she could recuperate. Next time she runs a marathon (or half-marathon), I'm going to take Monday off so I can recuperate!
D
4.23.2009
Free at last!
I finally went down to the Municipal Court and had my "No Proof of Insurance" ticket taken care of. If you remember, they would not accept the insurance card that my agent gave me as proof of insurance, because it had no expiration date on it. It said "Valid until termination". I did not realize that "Valid until termination" was too vague for the Court. They explained that I could have had my policy cancelled the day before I got the ticket. I explained that I didn't. The clerk explained that without a date on the card I might have. I explained that even with a date on the card, I could still cancel the policy or have the policy cancelled, but that I didn't and it wasn't. It was obviously not a fair argument, with me armed with a brain and her not...Anyway. I digress.
I submitted proof of insurance today, complete with an expiration date proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that indeed I did not cancel my insurance or have my insurance cancelled (because the date said so) and actually had valid insurance on the April 6, 2009. I even signed a form saying that I had proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that I had insurance on April 6, 2009 and was not trying to pull one over on the fine police officers of Salina and furthermore, that I had proven that I had valid insurance within 10 days of the issuance of the citation. 10 days? Not hardly. It's been 18 days. Why did I have to sign a form stating that I had presented a valid insurance card within 10 days? The ticket said I had until May 12th to appear before the Court, right on the bottom of the ticket in the officer's own handwriting. I hope they don't issue a warrant for my arrest for claiming to have presented proof within 10 days but in actuality being 8 days late. That would make for a very bad day. Dee would not be happy. Far less happier than I was when I was trying to explain to them what "Valid until termination" meant to normal people with common sense!
D
I submitted proof of insurance today, complete with an expiration date proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that indeed I did not cancel my insurance or have my insurance cancelled (because the date said so) and actually had valid insurance on the April 6, 2009. I even signed a form saying that I had proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that I had insurance on April 6, 2009 and was not trying to pull one over on the fine police officers of Salina and furthermore, that I had proven that I had valid insurance within 10 days of the issuance of the citation. 10 days? Not hardly. It's been 18 days. Why did I have to sign a form stating that I had presented a valid insurance card within 10 days? The ticket said I had until May 12th to appear before the Court, right on the bottom of the ticket in the officer's own handwriting. I hope they don't issue a warrant for my arrest for claiming to have presented proof within 10 days but in actuality being 8 days late. That would make for a very bad day. Dee would not be happy. Far less happier than I was when I was trying to explain to them what "Valid until termination" meant to normal people with common sense!
D
4.21.2009
Wow. I've been busy.
Since I last wrote back before Easter, I have been a busy boy. The Easter Bunny brought us all a virus. All four of us were sick. My turn was Tuesday of last week. I felt like a truck ran me over. I was only comforted when the mailman brought my Mr Beer Kit that I ordered from woot.com. I spent the afternoon reading the instruction book and dreaming of owning my own Brew Pub right here in Salina, Kansas. I also order additional ingredients to make more beer. The kit came with one recipe for West Coast Pale Ale. One recipe makes 2 gallons. I ordered four more. I can now make 10 gallons of beer! Wheat, Oatmeal Stout, IPA, and a Pilsner will soon be gracing my table.
Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday I traveled to Wichita, Columbus, NE, and Linn, MO. I traveled over 1,300 miles last week, 708 on Friday alone. Each of the meetings went well. I hope that in time, all of them will turn into clients. That will be great, as we could use the work but it will also mean that I will have to go back to Wichita, Columbus, NE, and Linn, MO. I discovered that my Olds can go 385 miles on a single tank of gas. I didn't completely run out of gas, but there were a few tense moments and some prayer. Can you pray for a gas station to suddenly appear? Is that allowed? Or is that one of those frivolous things that you're not supposed to pray for? I should have paid attention in class!
Saturday, we were up and at 'em early. Kay had a soccer game at 8:30, then a birthday party at 10:30, then girl scouts at 1:00. JD had baseball at 10:15 and 1:45 then a third game on Sunday. They went 1-2. JD played well and the team as a whole is more prepared than last year. Two of the coaches and three of the pitchers from last year left for greener pastures. The new kids and coach fit in better and brings a more calm demeanor to the dugout. We may not win more games but it will be less tense and more fun.
I mowed my lawn Sunday. Even sprayed the weeds. It had to be done. JD should be old enough to mow, but he would rather play. How old do your kids have to be before they are motivated by money? Hmmmmm...
This morning Kim woke me up to tell me the sewer was clogged. What a way to start a day. 45 minutes later I had it unclogged and was able to shower.
This week is shaping up to be busy too. Yesterday I was in Manhattan then coached Kay's softball team. Tonight is baseball for JD, soccer for Kay, and meetings at Church. Tomorrow, I am in Nebraska, Thursday I have a client in the office and baseball and soccer in the evening. Friday Kay has softball again, Soccer Saturday, then to Oklahoma City for Kim to run, and run, and run, and... well, you get the idea...
Wave if you pass me while I'm going.
D
Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday I traveled to Wichita, Columbus, NE, and Linn, MO. I traveled over 1,300 miles last week, 708 on Friday alone. Each of the meetings went well. I hope that in time, all of them will turn into clients. That will be great, as we could use the work but it will also mean that I will have to go back to Wichita, Columbus, NE, and Linn, MO. I discovered that my Olds can go 385 miles on a single tank of gas. I didn't completely run out of gas, but there were a few tense moments and some prayer. Can you pray for a gas station to suddenly appear? Is that allowed? Or is that one of those frivolous things that you're not supposed to pray for? I should have paid attention in class!
Saturday, we were up and at 'em early. Kay had a soccer game at 8:30, then a birthday party at 10:30, then girl scouts at 1:00. JD had baseball at 10:15 and 1:45 then a third game on Sunday. They went 1-2. JD played well and the team as a whole is more prepared than last year. Two of the coaches and three of the pitchers from last year left for greener pastures. The new kids and coach fit in better and brings a more calm demeanor to the dugout. We may not win more games but it will be less tense and more fun.
I mowed my lawn Sunday. Even sprayed the weeds. It had to be done. JD should be old enough to mow, but he would rather play. How old do your kids have to be before they are motivated by money? Hmmmmm...
This morning Kim woke me up to tell me the sewer was clogged. What a way to start a day. 45 minutes later I had it unclogged and was able to shower.
This week is shaping up to be busy too. Yesterday I was in Manhattan then coached Kay's softball team. Tonight is baseball for JD, soccer for Kay, and meetings at Church. Tomorrow, I am in Nebraska, Thursday I have a client in the office and baseball and soccer in the evening. Friday Kay has softball again, Soccer Saturday, then to Oklahoma City for Kim to run, and run, and run, and... well, you get the idea...
Wave if you pass me while I'm going.
D
4.10.2009
Hmmph!
So I went to court today to take care of my "Fix-It" and "No Proof of Insurance" tickets. I first went to get the fix-it disposed of and was told to go over to the court and take care of the other while they called the officer up. So I moved next door. I presented the ticket AND my insurance card to the court clerk and she quickly informed me that the card that my insurance agent gave me was not valid as proof of insurance. "Why not?" I inquired.
"Because this card just says it's valid until termination."
"Yes, it is." I respond obviously not seeing the problem.
"Your insurance company could have cancelled the policy the day before the ticket was written. You have to show a card that has an issue date and a termination date."
"If I showed one with a termination date, who's to say they didn't cancel my insurance, too? Which they haven't. I have insurance."
"If you showed this card to an officer, he'd write a ticket because it does not have a termination date on it."
I'm getting irritated now, "It's because it's not been terminated. I HAVE INSURANCE."
I fought the law and the law won. I lost. I have to get a card, with dates, to prove that I had insurance on April 6. I thought that's what I had done, but I guess I'm not as smart as our Municipal Court Clerks. Go figure. So I have to go back before May 10 or they'll issue a warrant for my arrest. Yeah, whatever.
So I go back to the police department to take care of the easy one. Headlight fixed, no problem. HA! I walked in to find a parent who obviously did not think things through thoroughly before she had kids with her ex-husband. She was filing a police report, trying to get her ex declared an unfit parent because he allegedly told their seven-year-old to take a multi-tool to school. He got caught with the "weapon" and was suspended. The mom wanted the police to do something, anything, to punish the man she had at one time thought was OK enough to sleep with, actually twice, if both kids were his -- looking at her, one could wonder... While she is giving her story to MY fix-it ticket officer, her ex walks in. I'm looking for a way out because to hear her tell it, he's a bad man -- I've got visions of him shooting the place up and the officer returning fire with me in between. (I have a vivid imagination, what can I say) He hugs the kid, gave him a kiss, and listened to his ex-wife rant about how evil he is. When she finished, he asked if he could give his side of the story. "NO. This is my Fix-It Ticket Officer, wait your turn." The officer didn't hear my inner voice, she let him give his side -- explaining it was put there after school and forgotten until the little boy pulled it out the next day. By now the kid is crying, mom is trying to pull him away from dad, the officer asks if he's OK, mom responds that he's upset. The officer replies: "Of course he is. He's watching his parents fight a custody battle in front of him, what do you think he's going to be?"
Twenty minutes later, finally, they left, or at least moved their verbal sparing to the parking lot, and let me have my officer back. As we walked out, dad is trying to apologize, mom is dragging the kids along screaming leave me alone, and the kids are caught in the middle. On the positive side, my headlight was correctly installed and I got one ticket voided in roughly 18 seconds.
One down, one to go!
D
"Because this card just says it's valid until termination."
"Yes, it is." I respond obviously not seeing the problem.
"Your insurance company could have cancelled the policy the day before the ticket was written. You have to show a card that has an issue date and a termination date."
"If I showed one with a termination date, who's to say they didn't cancel my insurance, too? Which they haven't. I have insurance."
"If you showed this card to an officer, he'd write a ticket because it does not have a termination date on it."
I'm getting irritated now, "It's because it's not been terminated. I HAVE INSURANCE."
I fought the law and the law won. I lost. I have to get a card, with dates, to prove that I had insurance on April 6. I thought that's what I had done, but I guess I'm not as smart as our Municipal Court Clerks. Go figure. So I have to go back before May 10 or they'll issue a warrant for my arrest. Yeah, whatever.
So I go back to the police department to take care of the easy one. Headlight fixed, no problem. HA! I walked in to find a parent who obviously did not think things through thoroughly before she had kids with her ex-husband. She was filing a police report, trying to get her ex declared an unfit parent because he allegedly told their seven-year-old to take a multi-tool to school. He got caught with the "weapon" and was suspended. The mom wanted the police to do something, anything, to punish the man she had at one time thought was OK enough to sleep with, actually twice, if both kids were his -- looking at her, one could wonder... While she is giving her story to MY fix-it ticket officer, her ex walks in. I'm looking for a way out because to hear her tell it, he's a bad man -- I've got visions of him shooting the place up and the officer returning fire with me in between. (I have a vivid imagination, what can I say) He hugs the kid, gave him a kiss, and listened to his ex-wife rant about how evil he is. When she finished, he asked if he could give his side of the story. "NO. This is my Fix-It Ticket Officer, wait your turn." The officer didn't hear my inner voice, she let him give his side -- explaining it was put there after school and forgotten until the little boy pulled it out the next day. By now the kid is crying, mom is trying to pull him away from dad, the officer asks if he's OK, mom responds that he's upset. The officer replies: "Of course he is. He's watching his parents fight a custody battle in front of him, what do you think he's going to be?"
Twenty minutes later, finally, they left, or at least moved their verbal sparing to the parking lot, and let me have my officer back. As we walked out, dad is trying to apologize, mom is dragging the kids along screaming leave me alone, and the kids are caught in the middle. On the positive side, my headlight was correctly installed and I got one ticket voided in roughly 18 seconds.
One down, one to go!
D
4.08.2009
Thoughts for Kimmie
Kimmie is amazing. She's currently training to run a half-marathon. That's 13.1 miles. All at one time. With no breaks. I couldn't do that if my favorite beer truck drove past and I was really thirsty. The training takes a lot of her time. Something she has precious little of, considering she teaches (no teacher jokes), raises two kids, and takes classes twice a week at Kansas Wesleyan from a moron that doesn't treat them like the adults they are -- which obviously makes the class harder than is needs to be. I think I do what I can, but she's really stressed. Her status on Facebook last night was "I'm being pulled in too many ways. Something has to give." So if you see her, wish her well. Tell her she's doing great. Tell her that her purple and silver shoes look fantastic. Give her a hug. Or do what I do and tell her you love her, then fold the clothes. Just don't pat her on the butt, that's still my job. :-) If you talk to her, find out a way I can help out more -- after all, we (she and me) are a team. A pretty darn good team. You should see our jerseys!
D
D
4.07.2009
That was Monday...
This should be a lesson to all of you. Never drive your wife's car, especially is she has sabotaged it! Last night, just as the game was beginning -- you know, at the tip when it was still a game -- I left to get JD from scouts. Just as I turned on to Magnolia, I got lit up by one of Salina's finest, who obviously was in search of some fun for the evening.
"Good evening, officer, is there a problem?"
"Officer So-and-So, Salina Police Department. I pulled you over because you have a headlight out."
"I do? Which one?"
"I believe it was your left one." he said, obviously not expecting me to question him on it. "Do you have your license and proof of insurance?"
"It's my wife's car, so I may have to dig for the insurance."
"Ha, that looks like the inside of MY wife's car."
"Here's an insurance card but it expired in 2004, but everything is still the same. Oh wait, here's another one. Well hell, this one expired in 2007. I guess that's the best I can do, sir."
"Thank you, wait right here."
Where did he think I was going? Did he expect me to leave? With him holding my license? With my name and address on it?
So as North Carolina raced to a large lead, effectively crushing the spirit of Michigan State, I sat in the right lane of Magnolia waiting on the slowest cop in the world. When he returned, he presented me with a fix-it ticket for the headlight and a mandatory court appearance ticket for no proof of insurance. Both are easily taken care of, it's just the hassle of doing it. From there I picked JD up, 10 minutes late, got home to see the remainder of what turned out to be the worst National Championship game I can remember, and retire to bed salivating over the Lasagna I thought I was going to get for supper while belching up fajita-flavored onions. I was awake to watch the clock pass midnight so I could say good by to a crappy Monday and hello to a less crappy Tuesday. I still didn't sleep very well so maybe Tuesday won't be any better.
Moral of the story: Drive grandma's car. It's perfect! And eat more Lasagna.
D
"Good evening, officer, is there a problem?"
"Officer So-and-So, Salina Police Department. I pulled you over because you have a headlight out."
"I do? Which one?"
"I believe it was your left one." he said, obviously not expecting me to question him on it. "Do you have your license and proof of insurance?"
"It's my wife's car, so I may have to dig for the insurance."
"Ha, that looks like the inside of MY wife's car."
"Here's an insurance card but it expired in 2004, but everything is still the same. Oh wait, here's another one. Well hell, this one expired in 2007. I guess that's the best I can do, sir."
"Thank you, wait right here."
Where did he think I was going? Did he expect me to leave? With him holding my license? With my name and address on it?
So as North Carolina raced to a large lead, effectively crushing the spirit of Michigan State, I sat in the right lane of Magnolia waiting on the slowest cop in the world. When he returned, he presented me with a fix-it ticket for the headlight and a mandatory court appearance ticket for no proof of insurance. Both are easily taken care of, it's just the hassle of doing it. From there I picked JD up, 10 minutes late, got home to see the remainder of what turned out to be the worst National Championship game I can remember, and retire to bed salivating over the Lasagna I thought I was going to get for supper while belching up fajita-flavored onions. I was awake to watch the clock pass midnight so I could say good by to a crappy Monday and hello to a less crappy Tuesday. I still didn't sleep very well so maybe Tuesday won't be any better.
Moral of the story: Drive grandma's car. It's perfect! And eat more Lasagna.
D
4.06.2009
Spring Cleaning...
Tis' the season for spring cleaning. Come on, sing along...
My kids are horrible house-keepers. I have cleaned, I mean cleaned, their rooms many times and they end up looking the same. I am working hard to teach them how to keep them clean so hopefully this will stick. The cleaning help described below came with a caveat though -- This is the last time! Yeah, right! A guy can dream can't he...
Last Saturday, during the snow storm of the century, Kay and I (OK, it was really me) cleaned her room. I did persuade her to help by going through all of her clothes. She had simple instructions -- go through everything; if it fits, fold it nicely and put it back in a drawer; if it's a nice shirt, put it on a hanger; if it's to small put it in a pile for Alyssa or a needy family that a teacher at South High is helping. Kim helped her with this task. While she was doing that, I cleaned her room. The closet, her shelves, her floor, everything. I even hung a new closet rod so that she has double-decker closet space. I put her books on her bookshelf. I put her toys in the toy box, or in her under-bed storage boxes, or in the bins on her shelves. I threw trash away. I vacuumed. Now she has a clean room with clothes she can actually find. The damage was one bag of trash, one tote of clothes for South High, one bag of clothes for Alyssa, and four hours of my life.
Yesterday, I tackled JD's room. It was a pit! When you ask him to clean his room, he sees it more as a time trial. There were certain spots that he could put stuff that would make it appear that he cleaned when in reality he was making a path. He piled stuff in his closet, under his bed, in a corner, and under his dresser. His closet contained a pile about 3' high. It was a mixture of clean clothes, toys, trash, shoes, and old book bags. Under the dresser, I discovered the stove-top griddle that had been missing for some time. It had dried Play-Doh nuggets on it. Not sure why. I did the same thing with him -- clothes drawers gone through, clothes folded, hung up, and segregated by donations to Braden, Tyler, or the South High family. Once the TV was turned off he did really well. When the dust settled -- this is almost embarrassing to write -- we had four trash bags of clothes to give away, three bags of trash, two boxes of trash, one box for garage sale, and one pile of shoes that will be handed down to someone.
When I finished Kay's room, she was eternally grateful. "Thank you, Thank you, Daddy". She still, over a week later, sometimes tells me thanks for cleaning her room, mostly when I'm tucking her in and picking up something stray that managed to not get picked up before bed. JD has not said anything except to point out that his room is clean. I did get a "Wow" while it was in progress, but not a "Thanks". Oh well, at least that was the last time I have to clean it!
D
My kids are horrible house-keepers. I have cleaned, I mean cleaned, their rooms many times and they end up looking the same. I am working hard to teach them how to keep them clean so hopefully this will stick. The cleaning help described below came with a caveat though -- This is the last time! Yeah, right! A guy can dream can't he...
Last Saturday, during the snow storm of the century, Kay and I (OK, it was really me) cleaned her room. I did persuade her to help by going through all of her clothes. She had simple instructions -- go through everything; if it fits, fold it nicely and put it back in a drawer; if it's a nice shirt, put it on a hanger; if it's to small put it in a pile for Alyssa or a needy family that a teacher at South High is helping. Kim helped her with this task. While she was doing that, I cleaned her room. The closet, her shelves, her floor, everything. I even hung a new closet rod so that she has double-decker closet space. I put her books on her bookshelf. I put her toys in the toy box, or in her under-bed storage boxes, or in the bins on her shelves. I threw trash away. I vacuumed. Now she has a clean room with clothes she can actually find. The damage was one bag of trash, one tote of clothes for South High, one bag of clothes for Alyssa, and four hours of my life.
Yesterday, I tackled JD's room. It was a pit! When you ask him to clean his room, he sees it more as a time trial. There were certain spots that he could put stuff that would make it appear that he cleaned when in reality he was making a path. He piled stuff in his closet, under his bed, in a corner, and under his dresser. His closet contained a pile about 3' high. It was a mixture of clean clothes, toys, trash, shoes, and old book bags. Under the dresser, I discovered the stove-top griddle that had been missing for some time. It had dried Play-Doh nuggets on it. Not sure why. I did the same thing with him -- clothes drawers gone through, clothes folded, hung up, and segregated by donations to Braden, Tyler, or the South High family. Once the TV was turned off he did really well. When the dust settled -- this is almost embarrassing to write -- we had four trash bags of clothes to give away, three bags of trash, two boxes of trash, one box for garage sale, and one pile of shoes that will be handed down to someone.
When I finished Kay's room, she was eternally grateful. "Thank you, Thank you, Daddy". She still, over a week later, sometimes tells me thanks for cleaning her room, mostly when I'm tucking her in and picking up something stray that managed to not get picked up before bed. JD has not said anything except to point out that his room is clean. I did get a "Wow" while it was in progress, but not a "Thanks". Oh well, at least that was the last time I have to clean it!
D
4.03.2009
R is for Reading
I am not, or at least was not, what you would call an avid reader. Sure, I read the newspaper, which makes me a dying breed, I read road signs, and I read e-mails (most of the time). But to sit down and read a book, for pleasure, has not been high on my list of things I enjoy doing. For example, I took a Holocaust Lit class in college with Kim -- she did all the reading for the two of us and I still got out of the class with a "C". I think it still irritates her, so don't mention this if you see her! Like I said, reading was not high on my to-do list. But about two months ago, I picked up a book that was given to me by a co-worker -- A Walk in the Woods, by Bill Bryson. I loved it! And since have enjoyed other books. Who knew that reading could be so enjoyable? Someone should inform people like me, who rely on their wife (or girlfriend at the time) to do all reading for the two of us, that reading is fun!
Since A Walk in the Woods, I have read The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid and I'm a Stranger Here Myself -- both by Bill Bryson. Last night I finished The Incomplete and Inaccurate History of Sports by Kenny Mayne of ESPN fame. Today, I checked out a book from the library. It's true, I did. I am out of control. Before making my selection, I had to renew my library card -- it seems that they close the account after a period of inactivity, again, who knew -- and pay a fine on the last thing I checked out because it was returned late: Barney's Number Friends. I guess it had been a while!
I find reading to be relaxing, especially with the stress of work and the stress the economy puts on work. I simply put my feet up and read, sometimes for hours on end. Sometimes I even read on the weekends. I even took my a book with me when we went on spring break -- and read it, too! That's when I picked up the Kenny Mayne book. My wife was shopping for clothes and I bought a book. Crazy. I sometimes tell Kim what the books are about so that I can begin to repay her for the help she gave me in college. She doesn't see it that way though, she just finds in annoying -- especially if I read several pages verbatim instead of paraphrasing! So much for payback.
D
Since A Walk in the Woods, I have read The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid and I'm a Stranger Here Myself -- both by Bill Bryson. Last night I finished The Incomplete and Inaccurate History of Sports by Kenny Mayne of ESPN fame. Today, I checked out a book from the library. It's true, I did. I am out of control. Before making my selection, I had to renew my library card -- it seems that they close the account after a period of inactivity, again, who knew -- and pay a fine on the last thing I checked out because it was returned late: Barney's Number Friends. I guess it had been a while!
I find reading to be relaxing, especially with the stress of work and the stress the economy puts on work. I simply put my feet up and read, sometimes for hours on end. Sometimes I even read on the weekends. I even took my a book with me when we went on spring break -- and read it, too! That's when I picked up the Kenny Mayne book. My wife was shopping for clothes and I bought a book. Crazy. I sometimes tell Kim what the books are about so that I can begin to repay her for the help she gave me in college. She doesn't see it that way though, she just finds in annoying -- especially if I read several pages verbatim instead of paraphrasing! So much for payback.
D
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