A weekend crappier than most (literally)

I knew football this weekend would leave something to be desired, but the rest of the events of the weekend were completely unexpected.

I knew South would have their hands full with Hutchinson. There are college teams that don’t have the size and speed that Hutch has. South played with them for 18 minutes, then Hutch woke up. The final ended up being 41-6, or something like that…

I knew that JD's team would have to play great to win, too. On Saturday, the Eagles played the Concordia Panthers. Last year, the Panthers went undefeated and outscored their opponents by 77 points through 6 games. We played well for almost 20 minutes but let them score right before half and trailed 20-6. We ended up losing 34-12.

I was up in the air about the Wildcats, but thought this game could be ugly. Last night, courtesy of espn360.com, I watched K-State play – and I use the term “play” in the loosest sense of the term. They looked terrible. Ron Prince obviously left NO talent on this team. Had he returned K-State may have been staring at a 2-10 season.

At halftime I decided that a shower would be more entertaining than the game. As I finished, I heard the tell tale gurgle of a stopped up sewer line. We have a problem spot where a two inch line dumps into the four inch main, so I assumed that I had a 10 minute job ahead of me and I’d be subjected to more bad football.

Wrong! The problem was bigger than I anticipated and kept me busy until 10:00. It was a fitting end – K-State playing like crap, and I’m trying to get crap (literally) flowing again. At 10:00 we decided that we would head for Ellsworth so we could sh*t, shave, and shower (again, literally).

We were up early and headed back for church. After church I ate quickly and started digging. 90 minutes later, I found the clean out and rented a sewer snake. Why someone would bury a sewer clean out is unclear – when they’re buried, they’re harder to find...

Kim suggested I call a plumber. What? The king of DIY, call a plumber? Especially when I get to rent a really cool power tool? NEVER!

I removed a wad of roots and made sure water was flowing – checked to see that sh*t was running downhill. All was good. Two hours later, I’m back to square one. I went back and got the sewer snake again, reamed it out again. This time I retrieved a wad or roots and hair and whatever else plugs up sewers that was as big as a baseball. Again I checked for proper flow. Flushed the toilets with more paper than an average person uses in a week, ran water until the ejection pump ejected, and kicked the sump pump on to see that it was not flowing back into the basin. All was good! Again!

I missed most of the football today, but my Cowboys saved a total washout with a victory over the Tampa Bay Bucs. I also managed to stay in both Eliminator games that I’m competing in: Auburn, Illinois, and the Seahawks all won, keeping me eligible for another week. If I lose at that and don’t win the pot, I can always just fall back on my plumbing skills.

D