In light of the recent weather, I found this and thought that it was appropriate for the season.
65 ABOVE ZERO:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Kansas plant gardens.
60 ABOVE ZERO:
Californians shiver uncontrollably….
People in Kansas sunbathe.
50 ABOVE ZERO:
Italian & English cars won’t start.
People in Kansas drive with the windows down.
40 ABOVE ZERO:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Kansas throw on a flannel shirt.
35 ABOVE ZERO:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Kansas have the last cookout before it gets cold.
20 ABOVE ZERO:
People in Miami all die.
Kansans close their windows.
ZERO:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Kansas get out their winter coats.
10 BELOW ZERO:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Kansas are selling cookies door to door.
20 BELOW ZERO:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Kansas let the dogs sleep indoors.
30 BELOW ZERO:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Kansans get upset because they have to let their cars warm-up.
40 BELOW ZERO:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Kansas start saying: “Cold enough for ya?”
50 BELOW ZERO:
Hell freezes over.
Kansas public schools will open 2 hours late.
1.15.2010
11.05.2009
KU Jokes...
Q: How do you keep a Jayhawk out of your yard?
A: Put up a goal post!
Q: Did you hear about the big power outage at the KU student union?
A: Forty Jayhawks were stuck on the escalator for 3 hours.
Q: What are the best 4 years of a KU student's life?
A: The 3rd Grade.
Q: What do you get if you breed a groundhog with a KU football player?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.
Q: What do you get if you drive by the KU campus real slow?
A: A degree.
Q: Did you hear they've decided to cover the field at KU's Memorial Stadium with cardboard next season?
A: People at KU have decided that their team always looks better on paper.
Q: How do you get a KU graduate off your porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.
Q: Why do KU students hang their diplomas from their rearview mirrors?
A: So they can park in the handicapped spot.
Q: Why doesn't KU have ice on the sidelines?
A: The guy with the recipe graduated.
Q: How many KU freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore class.
Q: What do you call a person from KU in a three piece suit?
A: The defendant.
Q: What's the difference between a litter of puppies and KU fans?
A: Eventually puppies grow up and stop whining.
Q: What does the average KU football player get on his SAT's?
A: Drool.
Q: What happens when a KU grad takes Viagra?
A: He gets taller.
Q: Why don't KU grads use 911 in an emergency?
A: Because they can't find "eleven" on the phone dial.
Q: Why was KU late for so many games last year?
A: Every time they passed a sign that said "Clean Restrooms", they did.
Q: Why did they have to cancel the Christmas play at KU last year?
A: They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.
Q: What is the difference between a KU cheerleader and a catfish?
A: One has whiskers and smells, the other is a fish.
Q: Did you hear that KU has found a new use for sheep?
A: Wool.
Q: What do KU cheerleaders and tornadoes have in common?
A: Both end up in trailer parks.
Q: What's the difference between a KU bar and a circus?
A: The clowns don't talk at the circus.
Q: How do you keep a KU girl from biting her nails?
A: Make her wear shoes.
Q: Did you hear about the KU athlete that won a Gold Medal in the Olympics?
A: He was so happy, he had it bronzed.
Q: What's the most useless thing in a KU fan's house?
A: The KU fan.
Q: How do you run a small business?
A: Start with a large business and put a KU grad in charge.
Q: How do you break a KU grad's finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.
Q: What's the difference between a KU cheerleader and a heifer?
A: About 30 pounds.
Q: What do you call a KU fan with half a brain?
A: Gifted.
A: Put up a goal post!
Q: Did you hear about the big power outage at the KU student union?
A: Forty Jayhawks were stuck on the escalator for 3 hours.
Q: What are the best 4 years of a KU student's life?
A: The 3rd Grade.
Q: What do you get if you breed a groundhog with a KU football player?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.
Q: What do you get if you drive by the KU campus real slow?
A: A degree.
Q: Did you hear they've decided to cover the field at KU's Memorial Stadium with cardboard next season?
A: People at KU have decided that their team always looks better on paper.
Q: How do you get a KU graduate off your porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.
Q: Why do KU students hang their diplomas from their rearview mirrors?
A: So they can park in the handicapped spot.
Q: Why doesn't KU have ice on the sidelines?
A: The guy with the recipe graduated.
Q: How many KU freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore class.
Q: What do you call a person from KU in a three piece suit?
A: The defendant.
Q: What's the difference between a litter of puppies and KU fans?
A: Eventually puppies grow up and stop whining.
Q: What does the average KU football player get on his SAT's?
A: Drool.
Q: What happens when a KU grad takes Viagra?
A: He gets taller.
Q: Why don't KU grads use 911 in an emergency?
A: Because they can't find "eleven" on the phone dial.
Q: Why was KU late for so many games last year?
A: Every time they passed a sign that said "Clean Restrooms", they did.
Q: Why did they have to cancel the Christmas play at KU last year?
A: They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.
Q: What is the difference between a KU cheerleader and a catfish?
A: One has whiskers and smells, the other is a fish.
Q: Did you hear that KU has found a new use for sheep?
A: Wool.
Q: What do KU cheerleaders and tornadoes have in common?
A: Both end up in trailer parks.
Q: What's the difference between a KU bar and a circus?
A: The clowns don't talk at the circus.
Q: How do you keep a KU girl from biting her nails?
A: Make her wear shoes.
Q: Did you hear about the KU athlete that won a Gold Medal in the Olympics?
A: He was so happy, he had it bronzed.
Q: What's the most useless thing in a KU fan's house?
A: The KU fan.
Q: How do you run a small business?
A: Start with a large business and put a KU grad in charge.
Q: How do you break a KU grad's finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.
Q: What's the difference between a KU cheerleader and a heifer?
A: About 30 pounds.
Q: What do you call a KU fan with half a brain?
A: Gifted.
11.03.2009
The Historical Origins of the "Jayhawk"
The "jay hawk" was actually the 2nd choice for the University of Kansas' mascot.
The first choice, while also a fictional bird, was more of a nod to the region's evolving biological diversity.
Newly arriving settlers to the Kansas Territories were often amazed at the abundance of what we refer to today as "barn swallows", so much so that the area of what is today east-central Kansas was commonly referred to as "swallow country". As more and more settlers moved to the area, so did their livestock, influencing the overall makeup of the region's animal population. One settler of the time described this integration of the native and domesticated as "a rainbow of diversity, with a flag of waving wheat and the song of the swallow and the crow of the rooster its anthem."
University of Kansas founders were taken by this description of Kansas and thought a representation of this sentiment would be a good emblem for the University. So it was decided that the convergence of the rooster and swallow would from that point on represent the University of Kansas.
They would forever be known as the Kansas Swallowcocks.
Unfortunately, the name wasn't greeted with the enthusiastic acceptance that university founders had hoped. Many inverted the name and called them Cockswallows, or in the native vernacular, "cock swallers". Others became concerned over the origins of the mascot, fearing a literal union of a cock and a swallow had indeed taken place. Still others feared the mascot may be interpreted metaphorically in some way as an abomination to God.
However, the ultimate insult came when it was discovered that the much-celebrated swallows were not swallows at all, but merely common blue jays, a mistake that in retrospect seems absurdly incomprehensible. Despite the obvious mis-identification, raging debates ensued between university founders and the common, uneducated settlers. Fearing alienation and widespread public backlash, university founders backed off their position and conceded that the grandiose swallow upon which they had pinned their identity was, in fact, merely the common blue jay.
In the end, a compromise was agreed upon. At the suggestion of town elders it was decided that a virtual synonym of "swallow cock" would be the official mascot of the university, and the "jayhawk" was adopted.
Even though the modern-era mascot bears little resemblance to the founders' original selection, it still strongly represents their vision for the university and the Lawrence as a whole.
What today is called a jayhawk, is still clearly a rainbow-flag waving, cock-swallowing, beacon of ignorance and ironic arrogance.
-------------------------------------------
This history lesson was originally taught in September but given the nature of this week, I think it should be re-published.
The first choice, while also a fictional bird, was more of a nod to the region's evolving biological diversity.
Newly arriving settlers to the Kansas Territories were often amazed at the abundance of what we refer to today as "barn swallows", so much so that the area of what is today east-central Kansas was commonly referred to as "swallow country". As more and more settlers moved to the area, so did their livestock, influencing the overall makeup of the region's animal population. One settler of the time described this integration of the native and domesticated as "a rainbow of diversity, with a flag of waving wheat and the song of the swallow and the crow of the rooster its anthem."
University of Kansas founders were taken by this description of Kansas and thought a representation of this sentiment would be a good emblem for the University. So it was decided that the convergence of the rooster and swallow would from that point on represent the University of Kansas.
They would forever be known as the Kansas Swallowcocks.
Unfortunately, the name wasn't greeted with the enthusiastic acceptance that university founders had hoped. Many inverted the name and called them Cockswallows, or in the native vernacular, "cock swallers". Others became concerned over the origins of the mascot, fearing a literal union of a cock and a swallow had indeed taken place. Still others feared the mascot may be interpreted metaphorically in some way as an abomination to God.
However, the ultimate insult came when it was discovered that the much-celebrated swallows were not swallows at all, but merely common blue jays, a mistake that in retrospect seems absurdly incomprehensible. Despite the obvious mis-identification, raging debates ensued between university founders and the common, uneducated settlers. Fearing alienation and widespread public backlash, university founders backed off their position and conceded that the grandiose swallow upon which they had pinned their identity was, in fact, merely the common blue jay.
In the end, a compromise was agreed upon. At the suggestion of town elders it was decided that a virtual synonym of "swallow cock" would be the official mascot of the university, and the "jayhawk" was adopted.
Even though the modern-era mascot bears little resemblance to the founders' original selection, it still strongly represents their vision for the university and the Lawrence as a whole.
What today is called a jayhawk, is still clearly a rainbow-flag waving, cock-swallowing, beacon of ignorance and ironic arrogance.
-------------------------------------------
This history lesson was originally taught in September but given the nature of this week, I think it should be re-published.
I once knew a Jayhawk fan that was so stupid...
1. He called me to get my phone number.
2. He spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
3. He put lipstick on his forehead because he wanted to make up his mind.
4. He tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
5. He sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
6. He tried to drown a fish.
7. He thought a quarterback was a refund.
8. He got locked in a grocery store and almost starved to death.
9. He tripped over a cordless phone.
10. He took a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.
11. He asked for a price check at the dollar store.
12. He studied for a blood test.
13. He thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
14. When he heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, he moved.
15. When he missed the 44 bus, he took the 22 bus twice instead.
16. When he took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" he turned around and went home.
17. He cheered for the Jayhawks every Saturday...
2. He spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
3. He put lipstick on his forehead because he wanted to make up his mind.
4. He tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
5. He sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
6. He tried to drown a fish.
7. He thought a quarterback was a refund.
8. He got locked in a grocery store and almost starved to death.
9. He tripped over a cordless phone.
10. He took a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.
11. He asked for a price check at the dollar store.
12. He studied for a blood test.
13. He thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
14. When he heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, he moved.
15. When he missed the 44 bus, he took the 22 bus twice instead.
16. When he took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" he turned around and went home.
17. He cheered for the Jayhawks every Saturday...
11.02.2009
101 Ways to Cook Chicken(hawks)
If you're looking for ways to spice up your tailgate party this weekend -- because we all know that there is never too many ways to cook a Chicken Hawk -- try one of these recipes. They can all be found here: COOKS.com.
After you've tried one of these you can go to the game and see how Bill Snyder does it!
1. SOUTHERN FRIED CHICKEN
2. SPICY CHICKEN WITH GINGERSNAP GRAVY
3. CRUNCHY COATINGS
4. HERB OR SPICY FRIED CHICKEN
5. FRIED CHICKEN WITH ORANGE GLAZE
6. PUNGENT ORANGE GLAZE
7. CHICKEN AND ONION RINGS
8. DELHI CHICKEN
9. CHICKEN ALMONDINE
10. CHICKEN RIVIERA
11. SHENANDOAH SPAGHETTI
12. PAN FRIED CHICKEN
13. CHICKEN EDEN
14. CHICKEN 'N YAMS
15. TOMATO-MUSHROOM GRAVY
16. CHICKEN AND APPLE RINGS
17. CALICO GRAVY FOR FRIED CHICKEN
18. BATTER FRIED CHICKEN
19. GRANDMA'S CHICKEN
20. CARAWAY
21. PLANTATION SPECIAL
22. SPICY PLANTATION SPECIAL
23. NUTTY CHICKEN
24. GLORY FRIES
25. ROSY HARVEST
26. DEEP FRIED CHICKEN
27. BROWNED CHICKEN FRICASSEE
28. BRUNSWICK STEW
29. HORSERADISH SAUCE
30. WITH MUSHROOMS
31. OVEN FRIED CHICKEN FOR A CROWD
32. OVEN BAKED CHICKEN FOR A CROWD
33. BROILED CHICKEN
34. JELLY GLAZED
35. PAPRIKA BROILED
36. DEVILED
37. GARLIC-OREGANO
38. PARMESAN BROILED CHICKEN
39. CHERRY OR GRAPE SAUCE
40. ROAST CHICKEN
41. TRAVELER'S CHICKEN
42. SOUTHLANDER'S RICE
43. CHICKEN IN THE GARDEN
44. CHICKEN YOGURT
45. SUNNY YAM SKILLET
46. YAM NUGGETS
47. IRISH NUGGETS
48. COUNTRY GARDEN CHICKEN
49. SKILLET SANDWICH
50. TOMATO CHICKETTI
51. SKILLET CHICKEN a la KING
52. SKILLET BARBECUED CHICKEN
53. QUICK BARBECUE SAUCE
54. BELL RINGER
55. CHICKEN LIVERS SAUTE
56. CHICKEN PANCAKES
57. SKILLET CHICKEN HASH
58. CHICKEN FRITTERS
59. SKILLET PIES
60. CHICKEN SAUTE WITH NEW POTATOES
61. CAROLINA CHICKEN
62. COUNTRY KETTLE
63. CHICKEN ROSEMARY
64. CHICKEN SCRAPPLE
65. CHICKEN BRAZILIA
66. CHICKEN-MAC SAUTE
67. CHICKEN LOGS (CROQUETTES)
68. COUNTRY CAPTAIN
69. AUNT SALLY'S SPECIAL
70. GALA CHICKEN NEWBURG
71. SPICED CHICKEN
72. CHICKEN DIVINE
73. LOUISIANA MEDLEY
74. CREOLE CHICKEN GUMBO
75. CHICKEN ROLLETTES
76. CHICKEN JAMBALAYA
77. CHICKEN SALAD - COLD OR HOT
78. CHICKEN DELAWARE
79. CHICKEN PILAF
80. FRIED CHICKEN ORIENTAL
81. FRUITED CHICKEN
82. HONEY-SOY BARBECUE SAUCE
83. EGGS FOO YONG
84. CHICKEN CURRY
85. CHICKEN WALNUT
86. SWEET 'N SOUR CHICKEN
87. NIWATORI SUKIYAKI
88. CHOP SUEY
89. PINEAPPLE SPICED CHICKEN
Variation of this recipe
90. ALOHA ALOHA
91. CHICKEN PAELLA
92. ARROZ CON POLLO
93. CHICKEN TETRAZZINI
94. CHICKEN CACCIATORE
95. CHICKEN CAPERS
96. CHICKEN OREGANO
97. COQ AU VIN
98. CHICKEN MARENGO
99. CHICKEN TARRAGON
100. SESAME FRIED CHICKEN
101. MEXICAN CHICKEN
After you've tried one of these you can go to the game and see how Bill Snyder does it!
1. SOUTHERN FRIED CHICKEN
2. SPICY CHICKEN WITH GINGERSNAP GRAVY
3. CRUNCHY COATINGS
4. HERB OR SPICY FRIED CHICKEN
5. FRIED CHICKEN WITH ORANGE GLAZE
6. PUNGENT ORANGE GLAZE
7. CHICKEN AND ONION RINGS
8. DELHI CHICKEN
9. CHICKEN ALMONDINE
10. CHICKEN RIVIERA
11. SHENANDOAH SPAGHETTI
12. PAN FRIED CHICKEN
13. CHICKEN EDEN
14. CHICKEN 'N YAMS
15. TOMATO-MUSHROOM GRAVY
16. CHICKEN AND APPLE RINGS
17. CALICO GRAVY FOR FRIED CHICKEN
18. BATTER FRIED CHICKEN
19. GRANDMA'S CHICKEN
20. CARAWAY
21. PLANTATION SPECIAL
22. SPICY PLANTATION SPECIAL
23. NUTTY CHICKEN
24. GLORY FRIES
25. ROSY HARVEST
26. DEEP FRIED CHICKEN
27. BROWNED CHICKEN FRICASSEE
28. BRUNSWICK STEW
29. HORSERADISH SAUCE
30. WITH MUSHROOMS
31. OVEN FRIED CHICKEN FOR A CROWD
32. OVEN BAKED CHICKEN FOR A CROWD
33. BROILED CHICKEN
34. JELLY GLAZED
35. PAPRIKA BROILED
36. DEVILED
37. GARLIC-OREGANO
38. PARMESAN BROILED CHICKEN
39. CHERRY OR GRAPE SAUCE
40. ROAST CHICKEN
41. TRAVELER'S CHICKEN
42. SOUTHLANDER'S RICE
43. CHICKEN IN THE GARDEN
44. CHICKEN YOGURT
45. SUNNY YAM SKILLET
46. YAM NUGGETS
47. IRISH NUGGETS
48. COUNTRY GARDEN CHICKEN
49. SKILLET SANDWICH
50. TOMATO CHICKETTI
51. SKILLET CHICKEN a la KING
52. SKILLET BARBECUED CHICKEN
53. QUICK BARBECUE SAUCE
54. BELL RINGER
55. CHICKEN LIVERS SAUTE
56. CHICKEN PANCAKES
57. SKILLET CHICKEN HASH
58. CHICKEN FRITTERS
59. SKILLET PIES
60. CHICKEN SAUTE WITH NEW POTATOES
61. CAROLINA CHICKEN
62. COUNTRY KETTLE
63. CHICKEN ROSEMARY
64. CHICKEN SCRAPPLE
65. CHICKEN BRAZILIA
66. CHICKEN-MAC SAUTE
67. CHICKEN LOGS (CROQUETTES)
68. COUNTRY CAPTAIN
69. AUNT SALLY'S SPECIAL
70. GALA CHICKEN NEWBURG
71. SPICED CHICKEN
72. CHICKEN DIVINE
73. LOUISIANA MEDLEY
74. CREOLE CHICKEN GUMBO
75. CHICKEN ROLLETTES
76. CHICKEN JAMBALAYA
77. CHICKEN SALAD - COLD OR HOT
78. CHICKEN DELAWARE
79. CHICKEN PILAF
80. FRIED CHICKEN ORIENTAL
81. FRUITED CHICKEN
82. HONEY-SOY BARBECUE SAUCE
83. EGGS FOO YONG
84. CHICKEN CURRY
85. CHICKEN WALNUT
86. SWEET 'N SOUR CHICKEN
87. NIWATORI SUKIYAKI
88. CHOP SUEY
89. PINEAPPLE SPICED CHICKEN
Variation of this recipe
90. ALOHA ALOHA
91. CHICKEN PAELLA
92. ARROZ CON POLLO
93. CHICKEN TETRAZZINI
94. CHICKEN CACCIATORE
95. CHICKEN CAPERS
96. CHICKEN OREGANO
97. COQ AU VIN
98. CHICKEN MARENGO
99. CHICKEN TARRAGON
100. SESAME FRIED CHICKEN
101. MEXICAN CHICKEN
10.13.2009
Lucky
I don't think of myself as a cat person. I enjoy the companionship of a dog more. They'll fetch, and hunt, and come running every time they see you like it's been weeks since you saw them -- even if you leave the yard for 5 minutes and come back... same slobbery greeting: "Oh Hi! Where have you been? I haven't seen you in ages! I'm glad you're here! Wanna play?" Or something very similar to that...
Cats on the other hand are loners. They could care less about where you go. When you're home. As long as they have food and water, you could drop off the face of the earth and they wouldn't notice. Lucky was that way. She tolerated us. And only us. Strangers in the house were not welcome. She had a very negative impression of Kim's dad. She'd sit on the opposite end of the couch from him and hiss the entire time he was there. Others got the same treatment from her, just not as bad. The four of us were the only people she allowed in her space.
I found her in the middle of an intersection in 1995. I had a soft spot in my heart for this abandoned kitten. She was about three weeks old. Her eyes weren't even open. I took her home and bottle fed her. I even rubbed her back side with a warm towel so she'd do her thing... The vet said that mimicked what the mother cat does. Because of the circumstances in how she came into our lives, we named her Lucky.
When she was about 6 months old she cut (and broke) her tail. I splinted it with popsicle sticks and masking tape. It healed, and more importantly, didn't cost me a visit to the vet. She was a joy to watch. She played hard. I'm sure she set land speed records running through the house. She'd sleep on our water bed (back in the day). She'd fight with the dog. She'd bite you if you tried to pet her. She was a great cat.
In recent years, she developed Diabetes. She'd been blind for about 4 years. She was losing weight. Often times she missed the litter box. But she had mellowed in her old age. Readily accepting ear scratching. But it was time. She injured her eye last week. There was no hope that it would heal.
This morning when I took her in, she was still a great cat. Her motor was running at a smooth idle. She purred louder than any cat I've been around. I wrapped her in a towel and we all said our goodbyes. There were tears all around. Kaylee took it hard. I took it harder than I thought I would. But it was hard. She's been in my life for 15 years.
When I handed her off to the technician Lucky hissed at her...
D
Cats on the other hand are loners. They could care less about where you go. When you're home. As long as they have food and water, you could drop off the face of the earth and they wouldn't notice. Lucky was that way. She tolerated us. And only us. Strangers in the house were not welcome. She had a very negative impression of Kim's dad. She'd sit on the opposite end of the couch from him and hiss the entire time he was there. Others got the same treatment from her, just not as bad. The four of us were the only people she allowed in her space.
I found her in the middle of an intersection in 1995. I had a soft spot in my heart for this abandoned kitten. She was about three weeks old. Her eyes weren't even open. I took her home and bottle fed her. I even rubbed her back side with a warm towel so she'd do her thing... The vet said that mimicked what the mother cat does. Because of the circumstances in how she came into our lives, we named her Lucky.
When she was about 6 months old she cut (and broke) her tail. I splinted it with popsicle sticks and masking tape. It healed, and more importantly, didn't cost me a visit to the vet. She was a joy to watch. She played hard. I'm sure she set land speed records running through the house. She'd sleep on our water bed (back in the day). She'd fight with the dog. She'd bite you if you tried to pet her. She was a great cat.
In recent years, she developed Diabetes. She'd been blind for about 4 years. She was losing weight. Often times she missed the litter box. But she had mellowed in her old age. Readily accepting ear scratching. But it was time. She injured her eye last week. There was no hope that it would heal.
This morning when I took her in, she was still a great cat. Her motor was running at a smooth idle. She purred louder than any cat I've been around. I wrapped her in a towel and we all said our goodbyes. There were tears all around. Kaylee took it hard. I took it harder than I thought I would. But it was hard. She's been in my life for 15 years.
When I handed her off to the technician Lucky hissed at her...
D
9.27.2009
Cool Runner
If you follow me on Facebook at all, you may have noticed some teaser posts in the past few weeks: “Dee is working on a big surprise for Kim”, or “Dee is 2/3 of the way there”. Today, I let her in on her “surprise”. I ran with her. I know that doesn't sound like much of a surprise but she was thrilled.
Back on August 10, I decided that I would learn to run. I mean I know how to run, but I wanted to learn to run distances – chasing the kids to bed doesn't count! I have tried to run before, but my shins hurt to the point of tears, literally. So I chose to begin slowly – a lot of walking with small intervals of running and slowly build up to longer intervals of running with small walks. It was a “Couch to 5K” plan that I modified for me. I even ordered new, high-dollar running shoes to improve my chances of success AND keep me motivated!
Day One I ran a total of two minutes. Yes, two minutes. I walked five, ran one, walked five, and ran one. Hardly the beginning I was looking for, but the pain in my shins was unbearable. I went back to the drawing board. I turned to the only source of information available these days… I went to Google!
Google told me that my overdeveloped calf muscles were putting a strain on my tibialis anterior and that I needed to strengthen and stretch that muscle, small as it is and located directly behind my shin. From there I went to the Y to find an answer to “How?” The two women I sought showed me exercises and stretches. The solution seemed easy enough.
Slowly, I worked toward a goal of 30 minutes of non-stop running. Day-by-day, week-by-week, I got better. When I posted that I was 2/3 of the way to my goal, I had run 20 minutes straight. I know that doesn't seem like much, but for me it was a miracle. In just 5 weeks, I had gone from one minute and tears to twenty minutes and actually feeling good.
Last week, six weeks into my program, I ran 1.5, 1.5, 2, and 2.5 miles. It was time to confess. Yesterday at Target, I bought a pair of running shorts and joked that I was going to run with her today. Today, I changed and she asked if I was really going to run. Yep. I am. I suggested my two-mile route. She thought that my route was boring. She suggested an alternate route. She kept asking if I was OK. I kept asking if I was going to fast for her. I put up a good act. Kept asking how I looked in my new shorts? If we had gone 3 miles yet? If I was slowing her down? We ran 1.5 miles and SHE suggested we should walk. Why. I’m fine. “You can’t run 3 miles your first day out, you’ll never want to run again.” She replied. We walked for a half-mile while I explained what I had been doing. And she asked, “Then why are we walking?” I don’t know it was YOUR idea!
We finished with a total of 4 miles, only running about three. I still have not met my goal of running 30 minutes without walking, but the date to meet my goal is still a week away – I wanted to reach that milestone by the time I turn 40. But just to set the record straight… it was her idea to walk.
She was surprised by the way.
D
Back on August 10, I decided that I would learn to run. I mean I know how to run, but I wanted to learn to run distances – chasing the kids to bed doesn't count! I have tried to run before, but my shins hurt to the point of tears, literally. So I chose to begin slowly – a lot of walking with small intervals of running and slowly build up to longer intervals of running with small walks. It was a “Couch to 5K” plan that I modified for me. I even ordered new, high-dollar running shoes to improve my chances of success AND keep me motivated!
Day One I ran a total of two minutes. Yes, two minutes. I walked five, ran one, walked five, and ran one. Hardly the beginning I was looking for, but the pain in my shins was unbearable. I went back to the drawing board. I turned to the only source of information available these days… I went to Google!
Google told me that my overdeveloped calf muscles were putting a strain on my tibialis anterior and that I needed to strengthen and stretch that muscle, small as it is and located directly behind my shin. From there I went to the Y to find an answer to “How?” The two women I sought showed me exercises and stretches. The solution seemed easy enough.
Slowly, I worked toward a goal of 30 minutes of non-stop running. Day-by-day, week-by-week, I got better. When I posted that I was 2/3 of the way to my goal, I had run 20 minutes straight. I know that doesn't seem like much, but for me it was a miracle. In just 5 weeks, I had gone from one minute and tears to twenty minutes and actually feeling good.
Last week, six weeks into my program, I ran 1.5, 1.5, 2, and 2.5 miles. It was time to confess. Yesterday at Target, I bought a pair of running shorts and joked that I was going to run with her today. Today, I changed and she asked if I was really going to run. Yep. I am. I suggested my two-mile route. She thought that my route was boring. She suggested an alternate route. She kept asking if I was OK. I kept asking if I was going to fast for her. I put up a good act. Kept asking how I looked in my new shorts? If we had gone 3 miles yet? If I was slowing her down? We ran 1.5 miles and SHE suggested we should walk. Why. I’m fine. “You can’t run 3 miles your first day out, you’ll never want to run again.” She replied. We walked for a half-mile while I explained what I had been doing. And she asked, “Then why are we walking?” I don’t know it was YOUR idea!
We finished with a total of 4 miles, only running about three. I still have not met my goal of running 30 minutes without walking, but the date to meet my goal is still a week away – I wanted to reach that milestone by the time I turn 40. But just to set the record straight… it was her idea to walk.
She was surprised by the way.
D
9.18.2009
It may be time to hang 'em up!
At heart, I'm just a big kid. Playing is what I live for. I think that's why I coach youth sports, I spend as much time playing as I do coaching -- I am there to have fun and help the kids have fun.
As the kids get older though, the sports get more physical. Football is getting that way. Our team, the Salina Eagles, has 21 kids. For those of you math challenged individuals, that's one shy of having a full offense and defense to scrimmage. Guess who number 22 is? Yep. Me. I love getting in there and knocking heads with the boys. I get some exercise and they really enjoy beating up on an old man.
Last night I went home sore and bruised. More sore than after any practice this year. When we were practicing our special teams, I was the up man on the punt team. Punts one and two went fine. I blocked if anyone got through the line and all was good. Punt number 3 went wrong. The long snapper -- who happens to be JD -- snapped the ball directly to me. I did what any good up man would do, I ran with the ball. Two boys shot through the line on the right side and had my legs and waist. The end from the left then came in and finished me off. Knocked me flat... actually I did a backwards somersault. He hit me so hard he knocked the elbow band I wear for tendinitis off my arm! They do like to hit me.
After we switched to offense/defense, I played defensive tackle. I took a helmet to my chin, a helmet to my forehead, and a facemask to my right shoulder. I have bruises that an old man should not have. Today, both shoulders are sore. My back is sore. And the muscles in the backs of my legs are sore.
Maybe, just maybe, I should hang up my cleats. Nah, it's too much fun!
D
As the kids get older though, the sports get more physical. Football is getting that way. Our team, the Salina Eagles, has 21 kids. For those of you math challenged individuals, that's one shy of having a full offense and defense to scrimmage. Guess who number 22 is? Yep. Me. I love getting in there and knocking heads with the boys. I get some exercise and they really enjoy beating up on an old man.
Last night I went home sore and bruised. More sore than after any practice this year. When we were practicing our special teams, I was the up man on the punt team. Punts one and two went fine. I blocked if anyone got through the line and all was good. Punt number 3 went wrong. The long snapper -- who happens to be JD -- snapped the ball directly to me. I did what any good up man would do, I ran with the ball. Two boys shot through the line on the right side and had my legs and waist. The end from the left then came in and finished me off. Knocked me flat... actually I did a backwards somersault. He hit me so hard he knocked the elbow band I wear for tendinitis off my arm! They do like to hit me.
After we switched to offense/defense, I played defensive tackle. I took a helmet to my chin, a helmet to my forehead, and a facemask to my right shoulder. I have bruises that an old man should not have. Today, both shoulders are sore. My back is sore. And the muscles in the backs of my legs are sore.
Maybe, just maybe, I should hang up my cleats. Nah, it's too much fun!
D
9.15.2009
Lost in the big city
Kansas Coach Mark Mangino was traveling to Big XII meetings in Kansas City earlier this summer. Now Kansas City can be a confusing place to get around and soon Coach Mangino found himself lost in the big city. After trying unsuccessfully to find his way back to the interstate, he finally stopped at a Quik Trip to ask for directions. Slowing approaching the counter, he politely asked: "Excuse me, but can you tell me how I can get to 435?" The clerk behind the counter promptly replied: "Sure, no problem. Try eating a damn salad every now and then!"
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I love that joke!
D
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I love that joke!
D
9.13.2009
A weekend crappier than most (literally)
I knew football this weekend would leave something to be desired, but the rest of the events of the weekend were completely unexpected.
I knew South would have their hands full with Hutchinson. There are college teams that don’t have the size and speed that Hutch has. South played with them for 18 minutes, then Hutch woke up. The final ended up being 41-6, or something like that…
I knew that JD's team would have to play great to win, too. On Saturday, the Eagles played the Concordia Panthers. Last year, the Panthers went undefeated and outscored their opponents by 77 points through 6 games. We played well for almost 20 minutes but let them score right before half and trailed 20-6. We ended up losing 34-12.
I was up in the air about the Wildcats, but thought this game could be ugly. Last night, courtesy of espn360.com, I watched K-State play – and I use the term “play” in the loosest sense of the term. They looked terrible. Ron Prince obviously left NO talent on this team. Had he returned K-State may have been staring at a 2-10 season.
At halftime I decided that a shower would be more entertaining than the game. As I finished, I heard the tell tale gurgle of a stopped up sewer line. We have a problem spot where a two inch line dumps into the four inch main, so I assumed that I had a 10 minute job ahead of me and I’d be subjected to more bad football.
Wrong! The problem was bigger than I anticipated and kept me busy until 10:00. It was a fitting end – K-State playing like crap, and I’m trying to get crap (literally) flowing again. At 10:00 we decided that we would head for Ellsworth so we could sh*t, shave, and shower (again, literally).
We were up early and headed back for church. After church I ate quickly and started digging. 90 minutes later, I found the clean out and rented a sewer snake. Why someone would bury a sewer clean out is unclear – when they’re buried, they’re harder to find...
Kim suggested I call a plumber. What? The king of DIY, call a plumber? Especially when I get to rent a really cool power tool? NEVER!
I removed a wad of roots and made sure water was flowing – checked to see that sh*t was running downhill. All was good. Two hours later, I’m back to square one. I went back and got the sewer snake again, reamed it out again. This time I retrieved a wad or roots and hair and whatever else plugs up sewers that was as big as a baseball. Again I checked for proper flow. Flushed the toilets with more paper than an average person uses in a week, ran water until the ejection pump ejected, and kicked the sump pump on to see that it was not flowing back into the basin. All was good! Again!
I missed most of the football today, but my Cowboys saved a total washout with a victory over the Tampa Bay Bucs. I also managed to stay in both Eliminator games that I’m competing in: Auburn, Illinois, and the Seahawks all won, keeping me eligible for another week. If I lose at that and don’t win the pot, I can always just fall back on my plumbing skills.
D
I knew South would have their hands full with Hutchinson. There are college teams that don’t have the size and speed that Hutch has. South played with them for 18 minutes, then Hutch woke up. The final ended up being 41-6, or something like that…
I knew that JD's team would have to play great to win, too. On Saturday, the Eagles played the Concordia Panthers. Last year, the Panthers went undefeated and outscored their opponents by 77 points through 6 games. We played well for almost 20 minutes but let them score right before half and trailed 20-6. We ended up losing 34-12.
I was up in the air about the Wildcats, but thought this game could be ugly. Last night, courtesy of espn360.com, I watched K-State play – and I use the term “play” in the loosest sense of the term. They looked terrible. Ron Prince obviously left NO talent on this team. Had he returned K-State may have been staring at a 2-10 season.
At halftime I decided that a shower would be more entertaining than the game. As I finished, I heard the tell tale gurgle of a stopped up sewer line. We have a problem spot where a two inch line dumps into the four inch main, so I assumed that I had a 10 minute job ahead of me and I’d be subjected to more bad football.
Wrong! The problem was bigger than I anticipated and kept me busy until 10:00. It was a fitting end – K-State playing like crap, and I’m trying to get crap (literally) flowing again. At 10:00 we decided that we would head for Ellsworth so we could sh*t, shave, and shower (again, literally).
We were up early and headed back for church. After church I ate quickly and started digging. 90 minutes later, I found the clean out and rented a sewer snake. Why someone would bury a sewer clean out is unclear – when they’re buried, they’re harder to find...
Kim suggested I call a plumber. What? The king of DIY, call a plumber? Especially when I get to rent a really cool power tool? NEVER!
I removed a wad of roots and made sure water was flowing – checked to see that sh*t was running downhill. All was good. Two hours later, I’m back to square one. I went back and got the sewer snake again, reamed it out again. This time I retrieved a wad or roots and hair and whatever else plugs up sewers that was as big as a baseball. Again I checked for proper flow. Flushed the toilets with more paper than an average person uses in a week, ran water until the ejection pump ejected, and kicked the sump pump on to see that it was not flowing back into the basin. All was good! Again!
I missed most of the football today, but my Cowboys saved a total washout with a victory over the Tampa Bay Bucs. I also managed to stay in both Eliminator games that I’m competing in: Auburn, Illinois, and the Seahawks all won, keeping me eligible for another week. If I lose at that and don’t win the pot, I can always just fall back on my plumbing skills.
D
9.09.2009
Who knew!?!
The True Origins of the Jaywawk
The "jay hawk" was actually the 2nd choice for the University of Kansas' mascot.
The first choice, while also a fictional bird, was more of a nod to the region's evolving biological diversity.
Newly arriving settlers to the Kansas Territories were often amazed at the abundance of what we refer to today as "barn swallows", so much so that the area of what is today east-central Kansas was commonly referred to as "swallow country". As more and more settlers moved to the area, so did their livestock, influencing the overall makeup of the region's animal population. One settler of the time described this integration of the native and domesticated as "a rainbow of diversity, with a flag of waving wheat and the song of the swallow and the crow of the rooster its anthem."
University of Kansas founders were taken by this description of Kansas and thought a representation of this sentiment would be a good emblem for the University. So it was decided that the convergence of the rooster and swallow would from that point on represent the University of Kansas.
They would forever be known as the Kansas Swallowcocks.
Unfortunately, the name wasn't greeted with the enthusiastic acceptance that university founders had hoped. Many inverted the name and called them Cockswallows, or in the native vernacular, "cock swallers". Others became concerned over the origins of the mascot, fearing a literal union of a cock and a swallow had indeed taken place. Still others feared the mascot may be interpreted metaphorically in some way as an abomination to God.
However, the ultimate insult came when it was discovered that the much-celebrated swallows were not swallows at all, but merely common blue jays, a mistake that in retrospect seems absurdly incomprehensible. Despite the obvious mis-identification, raging debates ensued between university founders and the common, uneducated settlers. Fearing alienation and widespread public backlash, university founders backed off their position and conceded that the grandiose swallow upon which they had pinned their identity was, in fact, merely the common blue jay.
In the end, a compromise was agreed upon. At the suggestion of town elders it was decided that a virtual synonym of "swallow cock" would be the official mascot of the university, and the "jayhawk" was adopted.
Even though the modern-era mascot bears little resemblance to the founders' original selection, it still strongly represents their vision for the university and the Lawrence as a whole.
What today is called a jayhawk, is still clearly a rainbow-flag waving, cock-swallowing, beacon of ignorance and ironic arrogance.
-----------------------------------------
Thanks for the history lesson Kevin, you learn something new everyday!
D
The "jay hawk" was actually the 2nd choice for the University of Kansas' mascot.
The first choice, while also a fictional bird, was more of a nod to the region's evolving biological diversity.
Newly arriving settlers to the Kansas Territories were often amazed at the abundance of what we refer to today as "barn swallows", so much so that the area of what is today east-central Kansas was commonly referred to as "swallow country". As more and more settlers moved to the area, so did their livestock, influencing the overall makeup of the region's animal population. One settler of the time described this integration of the native and domesticated as "a rainbow of diversity, with a flag of waving wheat and the song of the swallow and the crow of the rooster its anthem."
University of Kansas founders were taken by this description of Kansas and thought a representation of this sentiment would be a good emblem for the University. So it was decided that the convergence of the rooster and swallow would from that point on represent the University of Kansas.
They would forever be known as the Kansas Swallowcocks.
Unfortunately, the name wasn't greeted with the enthusiastic acceptance that university founders had hoped. Many inverted the name and called them Cockswallows, or in the native vernacular, "cock swallers". Others became concerned over the origins of the mascot, fearing a literal union of a cock and a swallow had indeed taken place. Still others feared the mascot may be interpreted metaphorically in some way as an abomination to God.
However, the ultimate insult came when it was discovered that the much-celebrated swallows were not swallows at all, but merely common blue jays, a mistake that in retrospect seems absurdly incomprehensible. Despite the obvious mis-identification, raging debates ensued between university founders and the common, uneducated settlers. Fearing alienation and widespread public backlash, university founders backed off their position and conceded that the grandiose swallow upon which they had pinned their identity was, in fact, merely the common blue jay.
In the end, a compromise was agreed upon. At the suggestion of town elders it was decided that a virtual synonym of "swallow cock" would be the official mascot of the university, and the "jayhawk" was adopted.
Even though the modern-era mascot bears little resemblance to the founders' original selection, it still strongly represents their vision for the university and the Lawrence as a whole.
What today is called a jayhawk, is still clearly a rainbow-flag waving, cock-swallowing, beacon of ignorance and ironic arrogance.
-----------------------------------------
Thanks for the history lesson Kevin, you learn something new everyday!
D
Keeping up with the Warren's
A Typical Week
A typical week in our house is anything but relaxing. With Kay and JD playing sports, plus midweek, plus school our week goes something like this: Monday: Volleyball, Football, Boy Scouts (After football practice moves to fall hours); Tuesday: Soccer, Football, Baton Twirling, and an occasional church meeting; Wednesday: Midweek meal, Occasional cooking or cleanup after the meal at church, and Kimmie is teaching a midweek class; Thursday: Soccer, Football; Friday: High School Football; Saturday: Volleyball, Soccer, Football, K-State Football;, Sunday: Church and REST!
FOOTBALL!
This past weekend was week one of three seasons. The South High team dismantled Ark City to start their season off with a win. The favor will be returned this Friday when Hutch comes to town. Saturday at 2:00, JD mad his debut as the Salina Eagles quarterback. He led them to a 12-0 victory over the bears. A review of his performance would be that he managed the game. No turnovers. Couple of squirrely hand offs. One bad pitch. And a 1-5 passing performance. One of his incompletions was thrown to the opposite of where the receiver was. JD threw left, Mike was right... He's still learning! From there we went to Manhattan (pronounced Man-ha-in by both of my children). K-State won. That's about all I can say. And that their tackling was light years ahead of where it was last year.
Upcoming Chores
I need to cut firewood, soon. I have to move furniture from our room to Kay's and Kay's to JD's. Kay is giving her desk to JD and Kay is getting Kim's dressing table. I also need to clean the garage before winter. I also need to sand JD's lockers, prime, and paint them. They're going in his room and I'd like to get that done in the next few weeks. In November I may tackle remodeling the bathroom upstairs. I plan on gutting it and starting from the studs and working out!
Into Every Life (or Dodge Truck) a Little Rain Must Fall
Last night, for some reason I have yet to discover, I left the passenger side window of my truck down. Not just cracked, but all the way down. We got 1.25" of rain in Salina last night. I had water standing in the floor board, the seat is soaked, and the door pockets were full! It may be October before it dries out. On the bright side, it cleaned my floor mats for me!
D
A typical week in our house is anything but relaxing. With Kay and JD playing sports, plus midweek, plus school our week goes something like this: Monday: Volleyball, Football, Boy Scouts (After football practice moves to fall hours); Tuesday: Soccer, Football, Baton Twirling, and an occasional church meeting; Wednesday: Midweek meal, Occasional cooking or cleanup after the meal at church, and Kimmie is teaching a midweek class; Thursday: Soccer, Football; Friday: High School Football; Saturday: Volleyball, Soccer, Football, K-State Football;, Sunday: Church and REST!
FOOTBALL!
This past weekend was week one of three seasons. The South High team dismantled Ark City to start their season off with a win. The favor will be returned this Friday when Hutch comes to town. Saturday at 2:00, JD mad his debut as the Salina Eagles quarterback. He led them to a 12-0 victory over the bears. A review of his performance would be that he managed the game. No turnovers. Couple of squirrely hand offs. One bad pitch. And a 1-5 passing performance. One of his incompletions was thrown to the opposite of where the receiver was. JD threw left, Mike was right... He's still learning! From there we went to Manhattan (pronounced Man-ha-in by both of my children). K-State won. That's about all I can say. And that their tackling was light years ahead of where it was last year.
Upcoming Chores
I need to cut firewood, soon. I have to move furniture from our room to Kay's and Kay's to JD's. Kay is giving her desk to JD and Kay is getting Kim's dressing table. I also need to clean the garage before winter. I also need to sand JD's lockers, prime, and paint them. They're going in his room and I'd like to get that done in the next few weeks. In November I may tackle remodeling the bathroom upstairs. I plan on gutting it and starting from the studs and working out!
Into Every Life (or Dodge Truck) a Little Rain Must Fall
Last night, for some reason I have yet to discover, I left the passenger side window of my truck down. Not just cracked, but all the way down. We got 1.25" of rain in Salina last night. I had water standing in the floor board, the seat is soaked, and the door pockets were full! It may be October before it dries out. On the bright side, it cleaned my floor mats for me!
D
8.26.2009
Could the economic news get any worse?
I was reading CNN this morning and buried in the news that Ted Kennedy passed away was this alarming tidbit: "Beer prices are going up". You would think news this alarming would be banner headlines in every paper in America. It's bad enough that this economy has caused home values to tank, 401ks to crash, businesses to cut staff, and forced families to "take" staycations -- whatever those are. Now the only real coping method some Americans have is becoming a victim of the free market.
The story says that rising commodity prices and lower beer volumes are working together to cause the price increase. (I think I've heard this before... Aren't these the exact same reasons why gas prices went up last summer?) Anheuser-Busch says it will raise prices across the board. Heineken says that its global price increases have helped it turn profits despite sagging volumes. (Same argument that Exxon-Mobile used as it announced the largest quarterly profit ever!)
Well, I for one am not going to stand for this. I am writing my congressman today. Big beer is not going to screw the average guy. I think it is time to repeal the liquor tax to help subsidize my beer consumption. It's time to start taxing these brewers' profits. We need legislation to start drilling for beer in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. We must work together at "beer-parties" to show them we are not going to stand for this kind of behavior -- a united front with lots and lots of yelling will squelch debate about why they need to raise prices! I think we need national beer-brewing reform! We need a public option for beer buyers. Free and reduced beer for low income families. I also want to see Pete Coors' birth certificate. He is obviously NOT an American. We also need vouchers from the government to subsidize "beer choice". I want to be able to drink any beer I want and pay with a voucher -- after all, I pay my taxes!
The government should also offer rebates when I trade in old, out-dated beer on a brand new six-pack. They can call the program BARS -- The Beer Aging Recovery Service Act. The government can provide subsidies of $4.95 for out-dated American beer and $3.95 for Imports per six-pack. Liquor stores will have to fill out reams of paperwork and login to high-traffic government websites and request their refunds. Beyond that, I want to know the names of the executives that are benefiting from these higher prices. Do they get huge bonuses based on these increased profits? Did they just take a lavish cruise? Or buy a new Chevy Volt? Do they own more than one home? Did they just buy their wife a new labradoodle? I want to know!
Damn... Where's my congressman's address? Oh well. I guess I just pay the higher price...
D
The story says that rising commodity prices and lower beer volumes are working together to cause the price increase. (I think I've heard this before... Aren't these the exact same reasons why gas prices went up last summer?) Anheuser-Busch says it will raise prices across the board. Heineken says that its global price increases have helped it turn profits despite sagging volumes. (Same argument that Exxon-Mobile used as it announced the largest quarterly profit ever!)
Well, I for one am not going to stand for this. I am writing my congressman today. Big beer is not going to screw the average guy. I think it is time to repeal the liquor tax to help subsidize my beer consumption. It's time to start taxing these brewers' profits. We need legislation to start drilling for beer in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. We must work together at "beer-parties" to show them we are not going to stand for this kind of behavior -- a united front with lots and lots of yelling will squelch debate about why they need to raise prices! I think we need national beer-brewing reform! We need a public option for beer buyers. Free and reduced beer for low income families. I also want to see Pete Coors' birth certificate. He is obviously NOT an American. We also need vouchers from the government to subsidize "beer choice". I want to be able to drink any beer I want and pay with a voucher -- after all, I pay my taxes!
The government should also offer rebates when I trade in old, out-dated beer on a brand new six-pack. They can call the program BARS -- The Beer Aging Recovery Service Act. The government can provide subsidies of $4.95 for out-dated American beer and $3.95 for Imports per six-pack. Liquor stores will have to fill out reams of paperwork and login to high-traffic government websites and request their refunds. Beyond that, I want to know the names of the executives that are benefiting from these higher prices. Do they get huge bonuses based on these increased profits? Did they just take a lavish cruise? Or buy a new Chevy Volt? Do they own more than one home? Did they just buy their wife a new labradoodle? I want to know!
Damn... Where's my congressman's address? Oh well. I guess I just pay the higher price...
D
8.24.2009
Howling good time!
My neighborhood has a lot of dogs. By my count there are 11 in close proximity to my house -- Mine, three next door, two next to them, one next to that house, and 4 at the three houses directly behind those. Most of the time they are all well behaved, except mine escaped on Friday and was picked up by the Dog Gestapo. It only cost me $42 in bail money to get her back.
Saturday, JD was practicing his trumpet. He has to practice 20 minutes a day, 5 days a week. Since the sound is unbearable, Kim, Kay and I went outside and enjoyed a quite evening next to the fire pit. We heard JD play one song and then nothing. 20 minutes later he joins us. "You need to practice 20 minutes, son."
JD: "I did."
Dad: "No. You didn't. We can hear you and that was more like two, not twenty."
JD: "I practiced 20 minutes."
Dad: "No. You didn't. Go practice."
JD: "If I practice more, I'm putting down 40 minutes."
Dad: "No. You won't. Go practice."
This went on for a while, then he reluctantly went back inside to practice. Moments later he was outside again, this time with trumpet in hand to "prove" that he had indeed practiced. He broke into a rousing rendition of Rock and Roll Blues or something with a similar title. Let me just say: Louis Armstrong he ain't! Within moments of his first note, every dog in the neighborhood was howling. Kim and I started laughing but he kept on playing. When it was over you could faintly hear every dog in the neighborhood breathing a sigh of relief. Me too.
D
Saturday, JD was practicing his trumpet. He has to practice 20 minutes a day, 5 days a week. Since the sound is unbearable, Kim, Kay and I went outside and enjoyed a quite evening next to the fire pit. We heard JD play one song and then nothing. 20 minutes later he joins us. "You need to practice 20 minutes, son."
JD: "I did."
Dad: "No. You didn't. We can hear you and that was more like two, not twenty."
JD: "I practiced 20 minutes."
Dad: "No. You didn't. Go practice."
JD: "If I practice more, I'm putting down 40 minutes."
Dad: "No. You won't. Go practice."
This went on for a while, then he reluctantly went back inside to practice. Moments later he was outside again, this time with trumpet in hand to "prove" that he had indeed practiced. He broke into a rousing rendition of Rock and Roll Blues or something with a similar title. Let me just say: Louis Armstrong he ain't! Within moments of his first note, every dog in the neighborhood was howling. Kim and I started laughing but he kept on playing. When it was over you could faintly hear every dog in the neighborhood breathing a sigh of relief. Me too.
D
8.21.2009
Could it be inefficiency?
The USPS -- United States Postal Service, the people who deliver our mail through rain or snow or dark of night -- recorded a loss of $2.8 billion for fiscal year 2008. Its debt increased by over $4 billion by the end of the calender year to $7.2 billion. I think that may be due to inefficiencies in the agency. I offer this one example as the sole basis for my hypothesis:
On Saturday, I ordered my lovely wife a gift from a store in Denver, CO. Why? No reason. I do that all the time. I buy her gifts because she's wonderful. Do I have to have a reason to buy her a gift? Anyway, the package was shipped on Monday, from Denver, via so-called Priority Mail. The USPS describes Priority Mail in the following manner on their website:
Get it there quickly.
With two-to-three-day delivery to most locations, Priority Mail services are your choice for fast, affordable shipping.
HA! is all I have to say. My 2-3 day Priority Mail package arrived today -- five days later and two days late by my calculations. The USPS managed to turn a 450 mile Denver-to-Salina trip in to an epic 995 mile journey that routed my package from Denver to Omaha to Wichita to Salina. How efficient is that? Or maybe Salina, KS isn't "most locations."
Presumably the USPS would like to compete with UPS and FedEx for shipping dollars, especially with the rise of package traffic generated by online shopping. But UPS would have never sent my package to the Land of Corn. They would have shipped it from Denver to Salina to my door and I would have had it Tuesday, Wednesday at the latest. FedEx would have flown it from Denver to Memphis to Wichita to Salina to my door -- I would have paid a lot more, but I would have had it Tuesday as well.
If the USPS wants ebayers and other online shoppers to use their services, shouldn't they do what UPS and FedEx do and deliver the package quickly and efficiently? After all we are a society that demands instant gratification. With a little more efficiency, maybe the USPS could have instantly gratified me!
D
On Saturday, I ordered my lovely wife a gift from a store in Denver, CO. Why? No reason. I do that all the time. I buy her gifts because she's wonderful. Do I have to have a reason to buy her a gift? Anyway, the package was shipped on Monday, from Denver, via so-called Priority Mail. The USPS describes Priority Mail in the following manner on their website:
Get it there quickly.
With two-to-three-day delivery to most locations, Priority Mail services are your choice for fast, affordable shipping.
HA! is all I have to say. My 2-3 day Priority Mail package arrived today -- five days later and two days late by my calculations. The USPS managed to turn a 450 mile Denver-to-Salina trip in to an epic 995 mile journey that routed my package from Denver to Omaha to Wichita to Salina. How efficient is that? Or maybe Salina, KS isn't "most locations."
Presumably the USPS would like to compete with UPS and FedEx for shipping dollars, especially with the rise of package traffic generated by online shopping. But UPS would have never sent my package to the Land of Corn. They would have shipped it from Denver to Salina to my door and I would have had it Tuesday, Wednesday at the latest. FedEx would have flown it from Denver to Memphis to Wichita to Salina to my door -- I would have paid a lot more, but I would have had it Tuesday as well.
If the USPS wants ebayers and other online shoppers to use their services, shouldn't they do what UPS and FedEx do and deliver the package quickly and efficiently? After all we are a society that demands instant gratification. With a little more efficiency, maybe the USPS could have instantly gratified me!
D
8.20.2009
Being sentimental...
I came across this gem this morning... I remember a lot of these from 30 years ago, but nobody says things like this any more... I can hear my mom saying almost every one of these. Enjoy!
Be sure to refill the ice trays, we’re going to have company.
Quit slamming the screen door when you go out!
Be sure and put the windows down when you leave, it looks like it could rain.
You have torn the knees out of that pair of pants so many times there is nothing left to put a patch on.
Don’t you go outside with your school clothes on!
Go comb your hair; it looks like the rats have nested in it all night.
Take that empty bottle to the store with you so you won’t have to pay a deposit on another one.
Put a dish towel over the cake so the flies won’t get on it.
Quit jumping on the floor! I have a cake in the oven and you are going to make it fall if you don’t quit!
Open the back door and see if we can get a breeze through here, it is getting hot.
You can walk to the store; it won’t hurt you to get some exercise.
Don’t sit too close to the TV. It is hard on your eyes.
If you pull that stunt again, I am going to wear you out!
Don’t lose that button; I’ll sew it back on after awhile.
No! I don’t have a dollar for you to go to the movie. Do you think money grows on trees?
Eat those turnips, they’ll make you big and strong like your daddy.
That dog is NOT coming in this house! I don’t care how cold it is out there, dogs don’t stay in the house.
Sit still! I’m trying to get your hair cut straight and you keep moving and it is all messed up.
I don’t want to hear words like that! I’ll wash your mouth out with soap!
If you get a spanking in school and I find out about it, you’ll get another one when you get home.
Quit crossing your eyes! They will get stuck that way!
It’s: ‘Yes Ma’am!’ and ‘No Ma’am!’ to me, young man, and don’t you forget it!
Dee
Be sure to refill the ice trays, we’re going to have company.
Quit slamming the screen door when you go out!
Be sure and put the windows down when you leave, it looks like it could rain.
You have torn the knees out of that pair of pants so many times there is nothing left to put a patch on.
Don’t you go outside with your school clothes on!
Go comb your hair; it looks like the rats have nested in it all night.
Take that empty bottle to the store with you so you won’t have to pay a deposit on another one.
Put a dish towel over the cake so the flies won’t get on it.
Quit jumping on the floor! I have a cake in the oven and you are going to make it fall if you don’t quit!
Open the back door and see if we can get a breeze through here, it is getting hot.
You can walk to the store; it won’t hurt you to get some exercise.
Don’t sit too close to the TV. It is hard on your eyes.
If you pull that stunt again, I am going to wear you out!
Don’t lose that button; I’ll sew it back on after awhile.
No! I don’t have a dollar for you to go to the movie. Do you think money grows on trees?
Eat those turnips, they’ll make you big and strong like your daddy.
That dog is NOT coming in this house! I don’t care how cold it is out there, dogs don’t stay in the house.
Sit still! I’m trying to get your hair cut straight and you keep moving and it is all messed up.
I don’t want to hear words like that! I’ll wash your mouth out with soap!
If you get a spanking in school and I find out about it, you’ll get another one when you get home.
Quit crossing your eyes! They will get stuck that way!
It’s: ‘Yes Ma’am!’ and ‘No Ma’am!’ to me, young man, and don’t you forget it!
Dee
8.19.2009
A few jokes...
The other night a wife was invited out for a night with the ‘girls.’ She told her husband that she would be home by midnight, ‘I promise!’
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, she headed for home. Just as she got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing her husband would probably wake up, she cuckooed another 9 times.
She was really proud of herself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed… 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12 cuckoos MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning the husband asked what time she got in, "MIDNIGHT" she replied… he didn’t seem pissed off in the least………. "Whew", she thinks "I got away with that one!"
Then the husband said ‘We need a new cuckoo clock.’ When asked why, he said, ‘Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times then said ‘oh shit.’ Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?” Mom replies, “No, because she is in heat.”
“What’s that mean?” asked the child. “Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.”
The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.”
Dad said, “Bring Belle over here.” He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog’s backside with it to disguise the scent, and said, “OK, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time round the block.”
The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Belle?”
The little girl said, “She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, another dog is pushing her home.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A young woman brings home her fiancée to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancée to his study for a drink.
“So what are your plans?” the father asks the young man.
“I am a Bible scholar,” he replies.
“A Bible scholar. Hmm.” the father says. “Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in as she’s accustomed to?”
“I will study,” the young man replies, “and God will provide for us.”
“And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring such as she deserves?” asks the father.
“I will concentrate on my studies,” the young man replies, “and God will provide for us.”
“And children?” asks the father. “How will you support children?”
“Don’t worry, sir, God will provide,” replies the fiancée.
The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father questions, the young idealist insists that God will provide.
Later, the mother asks, “How did it go, honey?”
The father answers, “He has no job and no plans, but the good news is he thinks I’m God.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A couple was invited to a swanky costume party. The Mrs. got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, decided to go the party.
Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice looking woman he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished , naturally, since he was her husband. Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed.
So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had.
He said: ‘Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you’re not there.’
‘Did you dance much ?’
‘I’ll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys and we went into the den and played poker all evening.
But you’re not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to….
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Pentagon recently found it had too many officers, and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who retired straight away his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on his body, with the officer getting to select any pair of points he wished.
The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet. He walked out with a check of $720,000.
The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000.
When the third one, a grizzled old Navy commander, was asked where to measure, he told the pension man: “From the tip of my penis to my testicles.”
The pension man suggested that perhaps he might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous two generals had received. The commander insisted and the pension expert said that would be fine, but that he’d better get the medical officer to do the measuring.
The medical officer attended and asked the commander to drop ‘em. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the commander’s penis and began to work back. My God!” he said. “Where are your testicles?”
“In Vietnam,” the commander replied.
D
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, she headed for home. Just as she got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing her husband would probably wake up, she cuckooed another 9 times.
She was really proud of herself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed… 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12 cuckoos MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning the husband asked what time she got in, "MIDNIGHT" she replied… he didn’t seem pissed off in the least………. "Whew", she thinks "I got away with that one!"
Then the husband said ‘We need a new cuckoo clock.’ When asked why, he said, ‘Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times then said ‘oh shit.’ Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?” Mom replies, “No, because she is in heat.”
“What’s that mean?” asked the child. “Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.”
The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.”
Dad said, “Bring Belle over here.” He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog’s backside with it to disguise the scent, and said, “OK, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time round the block.”
The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Belle?”
The little girl said, “She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, another dog is pushing her home.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A young woman brings home her fiancée to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancée to his study for a drink.
“So what are your plans?” the father asks the young man.
“I am a Bible scholar,” he replies.
“A Bible scholar. Hmm.” the father says. “Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in as she’s accustomed to?”
“I will study,” the young man replies, “and God will provide for us.”
“And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring such as she deserves?” asks the father.
“I will concentrate on my studies,” the young man replies, “and God will provide for us.”
“And children?” asks the father. “How will you support children?”
“Don’t worry, sir, God will provide,” replies the fiancée.
The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father questions, the young idealist insists that God will provide.
Later, the mother asks, “How did it go, honey?”
The father answers, “He has no job and no plans, but the good news is he thinks I’m God.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A couple was invited to a swanky costume party. The Mrs. got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, decided to go the party.
Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice looking woman he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished , naturally, since he was her husband. Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed.
So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had.
He said: ‘Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you’re not there.’
‘Did you dance much ?’
‘I’ll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys and we went into the den and played poker all evening.
But you’re not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to….
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Pentagon recently found it had too many officers, and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who retired straight away his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on his body, with the officer getting to select any pair of points he wished.
The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet. He walked out with a check of $720,000.
The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000.
When the third one, a grizzled old Navy commander, was asked where to measure, he told the pension man: “From the tip of my penis to my testicles.”
The pension man suggested that perhaps he might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous two generals had received. The commander insisted and the pension expert said that would be fine, but that he’d better get the medical officer to do the measuring.
The medical officer attended and asked the commander to drop ‘em. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the commander’s penis and began to work back. My God!” he said. “Where are your testicles?”
“In Vietnam,” the commander replied.
D
8.12.2009
Jackpot!
So last year our football team was small. Mostly. We had 6 guys over 120 lbs, which means they can't carry the ball and mostly played on the line of scrimmage. The rest of our 21 guys with the exception on 1 weighed less than 90 lbs, with a large number of those boys weighing less than 75 lbs. Do you know how hard it is for a 60 lb corner back to tackle a 110 lb running back? Needless to say we needed to bulk up.
Our priority in the draft was size. First we drafted the biggest, most athletic kid we could. Second pick we went for speed, third round we drafted the fastest kid left. Then picked up three others through an assigned player (we went through the kids that were left in alphabetical order and assigned them to each team until all the kids were gone).
Tonight we had our team meeting. The kids we drafted weighed in as follows: 125, 110, and 90. The three we were assigned came in at 150, 95, and 100. After reviewing the entire list, we now have only 4 kids under 80. It was amazing how some of the returning kids had filled out!
Practice starts Monday. Season in three weeks. Now the fun begins.
D
Our priority in the draft was size. First we drafted the biggest, most athletic kid we could. Second pick we went for speed, third round we drafted the fastest kid left. Then picked up three others through an assigned player (we went through the kids that were left in alphabetical order and assigned them to each team until all the kids were gone).
Tonight we had our team meeting. The kids we drafted weighed in as follows: 125, 110, and 90. The three we were assigned came in at 150, 95, and 100. After reviewing the entire list, we now have only 4 kids under 80. It was amazing how some of the returning kids had filled out!
Practice starts Monday. Season in three weeks. Now the fun begins.
D
8.10.2009
MY EYES!
Yesterday, Sunday, Kim, the kids, and I ventured to Derby to see Deiter (mom and dad’s new dog) and then visit Rock River Rapids – Derby’s water park. The trip was fun, the dog was great (I love Schnauzers), and the water was refreshing. The problem? The people.
Let me start by saying that I do not judge people on appearance alone. But I find it hard to take people seriously when they dress the way they do. The Tri Rivers fair is a good example. Friday night we went to the fair and saw people dressed in the strangest way. One guy, who was with his wife and young daughter, was wearing a shirt that proclaimed in big bold letters: “Love Sucks. True Love Swallows.” (you can buy your own here) How is that appropriate to wear in public? Especially with your wife and daughter in tow? Like I said, I don’t judge on appearance, but if you approached me with that shirt on…I’m probably not going to be inclined to be your friend. Kim and I also racked our brains to figure out how one overweight young lady managed to squeeze into the shorts, or more appropriately the “Daisy Dukes”, and crop top that she had “on”. We could only surmise that she greased herself up and had someone else sit on her to button them. And the bad part was she seemed to be following us. Every time we turned around there were her "abs" and her butt, most of it anyway. How do these people look in the mirror and say "Damn. I look good"? But I digress…
Yesterday at the water park in Derby I saw more overweight people in bikinis than I saw on the cruise. What ever happened to one-piece suits? Something a little less revealing that is still attractive and accentuates the best parts of your figure? There were also at least 4 very pregnant women there – again, nothing wrong with an expectant mother going to the water park, but three of the four moms-to-be were wearing very small bikinis. They looked incredibly uncomfortable. And one was down right disturbing. Then there was the male. He weighed at least 280 and was no taller than Kim. He was very tan – on his arms, neck, and bald head – but looked like he was wearing a white t-shirt (he wasn't). To accentuate the whiteness of his farmer’s tan, he wore black swimming trunks which he had pulled up nearly to his chin. Nice. Pair those mental images with the young teen that was wearing a bra (I’m sure it was, it had a lace back with a clasp and “I LOVE PINK” embroidered in the lace) and boxers. Where were her parents? Why didn't they say “No. You are NOT going to the pool in lingerie.”
Now I am a firm believer that one should be comfortable with themselves. They should love their body and who they are. But can’t you love yourself in private? Do you have to show the whole world? A little discretion please!
D
Let me start by saying that I do not judge people on appearance alone. But I find it hard to take people seriously when they dress the way they do. The Tri Rivers fair is a good example. Friday night we went to the fair and saw people dressed in the strangest way. One guy, who was with his wife and young daughter, was wearing a shirt that proclaimed in big bold letters: “Love Sucks. True Love Swallows.” (you can buy your own here) How is that appropriate to wear in public? Especially with your wife and daughter in tow? Like I said, I don’t judge on appearance, but if you approached me with that shirt on…I’m probably not going to be inclined to be your friend. Kim and I also racked our brains to figure out how one overweight young lady managed to squeeze into the shorts, or more appropriately the “Daisy Dukes”, and crop top that she had “on”. We could only surmise that she greased herself up and had someone else sit on her to button them. And the bad part was she seemed to be following us. Every time we turned around there were her "abs" and her butt, most of it anyway. How do these people look in the mirror and say "Damn. I look good"? But I digress…
Yesterday at the water park in Derby I saw more overweight people in bikinis than I saw on the cruise. What ever happened to one-piece suits? Something a little less revealing that is still attractive and accentuates the best parts of your figure? There were also at least 4 very pregnant women there – again, nothing wrong with an expectant mother going to the water park, but three of the four moms-to-be were wearing very small bikinis. They looked incredibly uncomfortable. And one was down right disturbing. Then there was the male. He weighed at least 280 and was no taller than Kim. He was very tan – on his arms, neck, and bald head – but looked like he was wearing a white t-shirt (he wasn't). To accentuate the whiteness of his farmer’s tan, he wore black swimming trunks which he had pulled up nearly to his chin. Nice. Pair those mental images with the young teen that was wearing a bra (I’m sure it was, it had a lace back with a clasp and “I LOVE PINK” embroidered in the lace) and boxers. Where were her parents? Why didn't they say “No. You are NOT going to the pool in lingerie.”
Now I am a firm believer that one should be comfortable with themselves. They should love their body and who they are. But can’t you love yourself in private? Do you have to show the whole world? A little discretion please!
D
8.06.2009
In the War Room
Last night was the 6th grade Salvation Army Football Draft. The Salina Eagles were prepared.
July 25th we attended the "Skills Evaluation Camp" where we were able to run the prospects through a 40- and 10-yard sprint and a agility drill. We also were able to watch them scrimmage. Evaluating the talent takes a keen eye and a little bit of imagination. But in the end we had our draft board with all 16 of the kids from camp ranked. There were 24 kids entering the league but we were only able to draft the kids who actually participated in the camp. After three rounds, the remaining "draftable" kids, along with the camp no-show kids were divided among the teams.
The Eagles were bad enough last year to earn the number one selection in the draft. We were able to select the number one kid on our board -- a solid prospect with great upside potential. The rest of the kids at the top of our board went quickly. For our second pick, we took the best available athlete. In the third round we went for speed, taking the fastest kid left on the board.
One coach went as far as calling others to ask about a player's skill level. Honest. Before his third pick, he spent 10 minutes on the phone. We all wondered if he was trying to work out a last minute trade. In the end, he picked a lineman. His team is solid at the skill positions, so he was looking for size.
Did I mention we are talking about 11 year-olds? It seems rather insane to be speaking about kids in this way. And it is. We ranked the kids in the order we wanted them, but we still have to remember we're talking about 6th graders. Some of the coaches actually take it too serious -- and it's not the Eagles' coaches!
I actually like the way the kids are divided up -- it keeps one team from loading up and pummelling the rest. It also lets the boys get to know other kids in the community, building friendships that last into High School, whether they attend South, Central, or Sacred Heart.
Go Eagles!
D
July 25th we attended the "Skills Evaluation Camp" where we were able to run the prospects through a 40- and 10-yard sprint and a agility drill. We also were able to watch them scrimmage. Evaluating the talent takes a keen eye and a little bit of imagination. But in the end we had our draft board with all 16 of the kids from camp ranked. There were 24 kids entering the league but we were only able to draft the kids who actually participated in the camp. After three rounds, the remaining "draftable" kids, along with the camp no-show kids were divided among the teams.
The Eagles were bad enough last year to earn the number one selection in the draft. We were able to select the number one kid on our board -- a solid prospect with great upside potential. The rest of the kids at the top of our board went quickly. For our second pick, we took the best available athlete. In the third round we went for speed, taking the fastest kid left on the board.
One coach went as far as calling others to ask about a player's skill level. Honest. Before his third pick, he spent 10 minutes on the phone. We all wondered if he was trying to work out a last minute trade. In the end, he picked a lineman. His team is solid at the skill positions, so he was looking for size.
Did I mention we are talking about 11 year-olds? It seems rather insane to be speaking about kids in this way. And it is. We ranked the kids in the order we wanted them, but we still have to remember we're talking about 6th graders. Some of the coaches actually take it too serious -- and it's not the Eagles' coaches!
I actually like the way the kids are divided up -- it keeps one team from loading up and pummelling the rest. It also lets the boys get to know other kids in the community, building friendships that last into High School, whether they attend South, Central, or Sacred Heart.
Go Eagles!
D
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