Southern Hospitality and More Pomp and Circumstance

Yesterday, I traveled to Coffeyville. It was my first trip back since a flood destroyed the east side of town. It was quite a sight. Kinda odd. There were trees and driveways but no houses. None. Instead of just bulldozing everything they just tore the houses down. I suppose that’s the environmentally-friendly thing to do after someone forgot to shut off the valve on the oil. You wouldn't want to harm the environment by cutting down the trees. There were a few houses closer to the center of town that were on higher ground that are still there. Nothing else around them except trees. I also drove by our old house on Overlook. Surprisingly, it looked well taken care of. The yard was mowed, the house was painted, and the clump river birch I planted 12 years ago was simply beautiful.

But you're asking "where’s the hospitality?" I'll tell you. I had a meeting in Coffeyville, that was the purpose of my trip. I was also treated lunch. And when I say treated I mean it, it was a treat. I arrived at noon, right on time. I was told not to worry about lunch as they would feed me. Great… I was looking forward to a nice lunch. When I arrived, I was handed a paper plate (it was Chinette so expectations rose) and told that they were "kinda informal there" and "to help myself." Lunch consisted of a table with no table cloth, a loaf of bread, a jar of mayonnaise, a platter of lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, and lunch meat, and a large bag of Always Save Ruffle Chips. It was like eating at Delmar's! Except without the atmosphere and good chips and Velveeta! Needless to say, when I left I stopped and grabbed a sandwich to fill me up.

JD "graduates" next Tuesday. Or so I'm told. What is this? Why? It's not like he'll have a job within weeks. He'll have no diploma to show for his six years of hard work. He'll be in (gasp) sixth grade come August. This isn't graduation, it's a fraud. Not surprisingly, there is a committee, a 5th Grade Honor's Committee, which Kim is loosely associated with, that has been planning the graduation for weeks. They are planning what song the kids will process in with, what the balloons will look like, what the refreshments will be, who the speaker will be, what the Honor Book will look like, etc. The odd thing, this being Honor night and all, is that there aren't actually any Honor's awarded. Every child is like every other child – dutifully completing 5th grade and moving on to 6th grade. They don't make a big deal that JD scored exemplary on every standardized test he took; they don't award perfect attendance; they don't do any of those things. Beyond that, now I find out that some of the parents are having Honor's Night parties. Why? Why are we celebrating what will soon turn into the greatest loss of innocence in these children's lives? Why are we making a big deal about doing what they should be doing – moving from 5th grade to 6th grade. Why? Why? Why?

All I know is that JD better not expect a graduation gift. Maybe an ice cream cone afterwards. Maybe. But no gift for doing what you're supposed to do…

D