A New Toy and Other Minutia

I got a new toy for my bike today. Not my Harley. My Trek. I am now the proud owner of a digital odometer. It calculates trip mileage, MPH, time, total miles, total time, and high MPH. Tonight I took it on an 8-mile ride. I plan on taking on over 200 miles of rides before we leave on the cruise. It’s a doable goal, that’s just a little over 6 miles a day, everyday, for the next 30 days. Heck maybe I’ll take it 250 miles.

Kim and I spent the weekend in Kansas City. It was fun. We stayed at the Chateau Avalon. Every room is themed. We stayed in the Castaway Suite. It had a giant shipwrecked boat and a large mural on the wall. It came complete with breakfast, which tasted good, but the presentation was less than stellar and portions were small.

We ate supper Saturday at the Granite City brewery. It was fabulous. I had two beers. A Broad Axe Stout and a Brother Benedict Bock. You KNOW both were good because when Kim tried them, she made a horrible face and shook her head. Good Stuff! I had an 8 oz filet, medium rare. Kim declined it too. She said if I found a piece that wasn’t mooing she’d try it. It was good though.

We spent most of Saturday shopping at the Legends. Kim bought somewhere in the neighborhood of 12 shirts and a pair of shorts. They’re all for the cruise. One she said she’s wearing to the River Festival, but she was going to wear a bra AND a cami. She’ll be completely out of place dressed like that at the Festival. I bought a pair of flip-flops for the cruise... red and charcoal Converse. They're cool!

Today on the trip home – remember we’re on the Harley – some moron decided to make a u-turn on I-70 just west of Junction City. Between me and the moron were a minivan and a car. We’re all cruising about 75. The moron decided to turn, the minivan hit the brakes, the car behind them hits the brakes and I hit the brakes. The car hits the van, I’m looking for somewhere to go while hitting the brakes… fortunately I kept the shiny side up and squeezed through, the minivan and car pull over, and the moron drives on oblivious to the chaos he/she caused.

When I got home I had to mow. Welcome to reality. This week I have to pack. We’re moving. Not Kim and I. MarketAide. We are moving in with the Salina Journal. Not the ideal situation for us, but this economy is not ideal either. We’ll make the best of it, regain profitability, and move out on our own again. I’m shooting for 12 months! It’s good to have goals.

D

Been a while, but not as long as Kimmie…

Since I was last with you, I have accomplished a lot…

On the weekend after my last post on May 15, I painted the house, just the gable ends, not the brick – that would be silly! Then last weekend – Memorial Day Weekend, not Labor Day, like I posted on my Facebook page – I tore down my picket fence in the back yard and replaced it with a privacy fence. After I finished the fence on Monday morning, I built a cover for what will eventually be an outdoor entertaining space, or at least a space where I can relax and drink a beer without basketballs hitting me in the head. My plan is to add river rock and stones and place our patio chairs and fire pit in the area. Eventually, I will add electricity so Kim can have her Margarator™ out there too.

We also made a quick trip to Coffeyville on Saturday to see some friends. It was a very fast trip down and back, but we had a good time.

Some of you probably have heard my stories about the old guy across the street – he can't hear, but loves to wander over and visit. The problem is the conversations are usually one-sided because he can't hear what you say. Since our property valuation notices were delivered at the end of March, he has been over three times to ask if mine went up. I usually respond by telling him mine went down. If he could hear, it would get him fired up. He has informed me that he has appealed his every year. The best parts of his conversations are his "obvious" questions. On May 16 – house painting day – he wandered over to talk to me. I was on the ladder, brush in one hand applying paint to the house and can of paint in the other: "You painting your house?" Nope, just brushing the dirt off so it looks better! On Saturday, he came over to inspect my fence work. I had set new posts, put the horizontal runners on, and was screwing the pickets to the would-be fence: "You replacing your fence?" Nope, I'm building a fort for the impending Armageddon! Then later, as I was rushing to beat darkness, he wandered over and wanted to discuss today's youth. As he approached I asked about the Garage Sale he had on Friday morning: "Did you make any money with your sale?" His response: "How do you keep your pickets all the same height?" Did I mention that it's easier to talk to a rock?

Baseball and softball are in full swing. JD’s game tonight is rained out, but practice keeps us busy enough. Kay practiced Monday, JD Sunday and last night. JD has two games next week and Kay has three… Welcome to summer.

If you need me this weekend, I will be unavailable. Kim and I are going to KC for our 15th Anniversary. Can you believe it? She’s put up with me for 15 years – 18 if you count dating. We'll be at The Legends eating and shopping but – I am so smart – we are taking the Harley, so Kim can't buy too much!

D

Going Commando

I had to rant about this after I saw the video, but I would encourage you to scroll down and read "Do the Dew" as well; I had to post again today after seeing this.

I clicked on a story on CNN based on the headline: "Teen thinks yearbook shows WAY too much". Now, since Kim teaches Journalism and Yearbook, I am always intrigued by news stories regarding the hyper-sensitivity of communities in regard to school publications. Often times irrational parents try hard to get good teachers fired over what they think are outrageous things published by teens -- Kim has a friend who found herself in hot water at my old High School over a story about tattoos and body piercings... Other times there is justification for outrage, like the Central High "Sex" issue of The Pylon...

This story it turns out is about a young lady who chose not to wear underwear to school one day while sporting a very short dress. While taking a picture for pottery club for publication in the yearbook, the camera catches a glimpse of what she says is her "hoohaw." Administrators say it's not her "hoohaw", it's a shadow. Either way, mom wants all of the yearbooks collected, including the ones that have been distributed to seniors, destroyed, and reprinted without the photo of her daughter.

In the news video, the mom is mad, and understandably so. But she has directed here anger in the wrong direction. She is mad at the school. My question? What about your daughter. She is the one that CHOSE not to wear underwear. This is a good life lesson, like my mom always told me: "Wear Underwear." Well, kinda like that, she always admonished me to wear "clean" underwear. I guess she thought that just saying "wear underwear" was one of those things that went without saying. The mom also says she doesn't want her daughter to be embarrassed... so what does Mom do? Call the local media, CNN picks it up, and now EVERYONE knows that her daughter doesn't wear underwear. I also find it funny that they blur her face, yet she went to school with no underwear on. That's funny! She may not have anticipated that she would be bearing all in the yearbook, but she had to know someone during the course of the day would see something...

This young lady has likely learned a lesson. I doubt that she treks to school commando again. Lesson learned. Now her mom on the other hand...

D

Do the Dew

Last night JD had his Fifth Grade Band Concert at 5:30. It was nice, with one exception. I have never heard "When the Saints Go Marching In" played as slow as they did last night. It sounded more like the Saints were crawling. JD is first chair trumpet. Pretty good for someone who NEVER practices outside of the 20 minutes at school twice a week. I'm not sure if his first chair status is because he is a musical prodigy or because the other three trumpet players have quit! Probably the latter.

After being serenaded by the fifth graders, we took him home so he could change and go to The City. It was fifth grade night. If you are not familiar with The City, it is a teen club in downtown Salina. They have Wii games, TVs, a dance floor, balcony, indoor basketball court, pool tables, and a snack bar. The kids were invited so that when they are in Middle School they will frequent the club and spend their parents' hard earned money. Kim chauffeured him to the club and stayed for about an hour to make sure he was behaving. I went back at 9:00 to pick him up. When we entered the car to head home I asked how the evening was. His responded very excitedly: "GREAT! I had a Mountain Dew Voltage and a Mountain Dew!" Dad’s response: "When you can't sleep tonight, don't wake me up!"

For an hour he tossed and turned before he got mad… and when he gets mad he can't sleep. I shut my bedroom door for some piece and quite. That made him start bellowing, loudly, to get attention. That's when we had a talk. "Did I not tell you that you were not going to sleep well after drinking two Mountain Dews? If you wake your sister up, you're going to be in real trouble. Just lay down and relax. You'll go to sleep eventually." He's funny when he can't sleep. If he had hair, he would be pulling it out, that's how worked up he gets. He did go to sleep. I'm not sure what time, but he did. And slept until 5:30 this morning and then went back to sleep until 7:00. It was a time to explain that was the consequence of his decision to drink two Mountain Dews right before bed time.

D

Southern Hospitality and More Pomp and Circumstance

Yesterday, I traveled to Coffeyville. It was my first trip back since a flood destroyed the east side of town. It was quite a sight. Kinda odd. There were trees and driveways but no houses. None. Instead of just bulldozing everything they just tore the houses down. I suppose that’s the environmentally-friendly thing to do after someone forgot to shut off the valve on the oil. You wouldn't want to harm the environment by cutting down the trees. There were a few houses closer to the center of town that were on higher ground that are still there. Nothing else around them except trees. I also drove by our old house on Overlook. Surprisingly, it looked well taken care of. The yard was mowed, the house was painted, and the clump river birch I planted 12 years ago was simply beautiful.

But you're asking "where’s the hospitality?" I'll tell you. I had a meeting in Coffeyville, that was the purpose of my trip. I was also treated lunch. And when I say treated I mean it, it was a treat. I arrived at noon, right on time. I was told not to worry about lunch as they would feed me. Great… I was looking forward to a nice lunch. When I arrived, I was handed a paper plate (it was Chinette so expectations rose) and told that they were "kinda informal there" and "to help myself." Lunch consisted of a table with no table cloth, a loaf of bread, a jar of mayonnaise, a platter of lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, and lunch meat, and a large bag of Always Save Ruffle Chips. It was like eating at Delmar's! Except without the atmosphere and good chips and Velveeta! Needless to say, when I left I stopped and grabbed a sandwich to fill me up.

JD "graduates" next Tuesday. Or so I'm told. What is this? Why? It's not like he'll have a job within weeks. He'll have no diploma to show for his six years of hard work. He'll be in (gasp) sixth grade come August. This isn't graduation, it's a fraud. Not surprisingly, there is a committee, a 5th Grade Honor's Committee, which Kim is loosely associated with, that has been planning the graduation for weeks. They are planning what song the kids will process in with, what the balloons will look like, what the refreshments will be, who the speaker will be, what the Honor Book will look like, etc. The odd thing, this being Honor night and all, is that there aren't actually any Honor's awarded. Every child is like every other child – dutifully completing 5th grade and moving on to 6th grade. They don't make a big deal that JD scored exemplary on every standardized test he took; they don't award perfect attendance; they don't do any of those things. Beyond that, now I find out that some of the parents are having Honor's Night parties. Why? Why are we celebrating what will soon turn into the greatest loss of innocence in these children's lives? Why are we making a big deal about doing what they should be doing – moving from 5th grade to 6th grade. Why? Why? Why?

All I know is that JD better not expect a graduation gift. Maybe an ice cream cone afterwards. Maybe. But no gift for doing what you're supposed to do…

D

Those Crazy Amish...

Courtesy of the Associated Press... what is the world coming to? Drunk Buggying? Is that even a word? And how rowdy can an Amish Teens be?

Amish teen ticketed for having beer in buggy
May 12, 2009 2:13 PM EST
LEON, N.Y. - Police cracking down on rowdy Amish youths ticketed a teenager for having beer in his horse-drawn buggy when they pulled him over on a western New York road. They said the 17-year-old was charged with underage possession of alcohol after he was stopped by deputies late Monday night in the town of Leon, 40 miles south of Buffalo.

Detective Nathan Root said the teen admitted drinking beer, but passed a field sobriety test.

Root says another Amish man in the buggy, a 22-year-old, was charged with providing the beer. Both are scheduled to be arraigned June 22.

Patrols were stepped up after an Amish elder's property was vandalized when he confronted youths about their drinking and listening to radios.

The Associated Press

Why do girls throw like girls?

I have put on yet another hat this year. I am coaching Kay's U9 Machine Pitch Softball Team. From the progress at the first 5 practices, I may be in for a long year. For the most part they can hit, with a few exceptions. They can also run, although some of them look more like lumber wagons than they do softball players and all of them could get faster. The main problem with the Pink Panthers is that they can't throw or catch. They can't throw hard, they can't throw accurate, and they can't throw far. The accuracy is what scares me. I've been hit twice and almost been hit multiple times. Not only can they not throw, but now I am risking my safety trying to teach them the game of softball. It's also a very good thing that each inning has a 6-run limit. Most of our games will be 18 or 24 to whatever we can score. We are going to have to score, because we won't be able to stop anyone.

My question, as the title of this post would imply, is why do girls throw like girls? I have two theories. One. They are not used to it. Boys grow up throwing balls, rocks, snow, toys, cats, etc. Girls don't. They, for the most part, play with dolls and have tea parties and play hopscotch and jump rope. The throwing motion in boys has been learned from an early age and they are used to the concept of throwing and throwing accurately. Maybe it's just that girls are behind developmentally in their throwing skills and eventually will catch up. My second theory is that there is something structurally that causes them to throw like girls. We all know that girls and boys, or at least women and men, are built differently upstairs. The muscle structure in the chest is different. Not wrong, definitely not wrong, just different. But I'm not talking about a 20-something with a D-cup trying to throw a softball. I don't think Kim would let me coach a softball team of D-Cup 20-somethings, but now I'm off subject. My point is, could there be something in the structure of the muscles, how the shoulder muscles connect to the chest that causes girls to throw that way? I know it can be overcome, otherwise there wouldn't be college softball. I just don't know how to get past it with 8-year-olds...

Maybe I could get a stimulus grant to study women's chests for the benefit of humanity! Once the findings are published, youth coaches and PE teachers around the globe would be grateful for the incite into how to teach their girls to throw a softball...

D

Pomp and Circumstance and Moms and Fires and Chores and Baseball and Naps

Kimmie graduated this weekend, I think. Her name was in the program – even if Delmar couldn’t find it by looking for Kimberly K. Kohls – but she also had a “#” after her name. That means she is a “Summer 2009 Degree Candidate”. I hope she passes Gender Issues in Sports! All joking aside, she did great. She now possesses something I will likely never hold. I finished school almost 16 years ago and have no desire to return to the classroom setting to gain knowledge. I prefer the life experience method, primarily due to the lack of reading and test taking involved with that method… Congratulations Kimmie.

Mother’s Day was yesterday. But most of you probably know that, unless your kids forgot and you slept through the day. I don’t know how anyone could forget Mom. Or maybe I should say I don’t know how anyone could forget Mom’s Day! It’s everywhere. It has become as commercial as Christmas. Cards, gifts, sales, touching news stories, candy, lights, trees, etc. You can’t look anywhere without seeing a reference to Mom. Every retailer in America had a Mother’s Day sale. Every restaurant had a Mother’s Day special. Every kid made a gift in school, or scouts, or church. Heck, even the Minneapolis Race Track was letting moms in for free yesterday. So if your mom is a redneck, you could have taken her to the races without hurting your wallet. Amazon.com e-mailed me yesterday and informed me that it was not too late, there were still some great, last-minute gift ideas that they could supply at discounted prices. Unfortunately there was no mention of “Same Day Delivery”, which would have been important if you wanted to stay out of the dog house. And for those of you that got the shaft yesterday, there is a Salina radio station that is allowing you to call and out your family. If you got the biggest shaft, you’re eligible for great gifts from all of their sponsors.

Saturday, we bought a fire pit. We used the gift card that my mom and dad got us for Christmas. I put it together, built a fire, and sat down to enjoy a beer. Linda and Andrew stopped by and we had a good time celebrating Kimmie’s graduation. It was relaxing to just sit. A good ending to a busy day. By the time we went in, I had enjoyed three beers. Sunday, I woke up with a splitting headache. How can three beers give me a headache? I must be getting old!

I have a number of chores upcoming. I’m not sure where I’ll find the time to do them, but I guess I’ll figure it out. I must mow. I simply must. The lawn has had a considerable amount of rain on it since the last time it was mowed and it’s out of control. But with two baseball practices and two softball practices this week as well as a trip to Southeast Kansas and Northwest Oklahoma on Wednesday, I’m not sure when I’ll get to it. Maybe I should put headlight on my mower and mow in the dark. On top of that, Kay’s room is a mess again… less than a week after I helped her clean her room (and by “helped”, I mean I did it). I folded the clothes last night and tonight will have to find time to hang them up. This weekend I need to paint the house – only four gable ends so it won’t take long, but probably the better part of a day. I am also going to build a privacy fence to replace the one that the wind tore up six weeks ago. I called Kansas OneCall this morning to mark the utilities and had to promise I would not use explosives to dig my post holes! That thought had never occurred to me…

We spent Graduation/Mother’s Day weekend running back and fourth to McPherson. JD had three games in McPherson. Had they won a game Saturday, they would have played four. But given the weather was more suitable for football on Sunday, I’m glad they decided to give both games away in the last inning on Saturday. Yep, it’s true. JD’s team played good baseball for four innings in both games. Unfortunately, both games were five innings in length. Both games were winnable, both games turned on bad fielding. Missed grounders, poor throws, indecisiveness in the outfield, and base running errors all contributed to the last inning meltdowns. I think. I missed game two because we had to return to Salina for a birthday party and graduation. Sunday, they played better. Not great, but better. When JD caught the final pop-fly out of the game he was jumping around and pumping his fist like he had just won the World Series. The only thing missing was the dog-pile on the pitchers mound! JDs coach shared with me that he doesn’t know what to do with JD. He seems to have a problem swinging the bat in games. In the cages or at practice he swings at almost everything and hits the ball most of the time. In games, he stands there, with good form and watches the ball go by. In two at bats in the first game Saturday, he swung once. He managed to get to a 3-2 count both times and walked both times, but only swung once. Sunday, I told him that for the rest of the season, he gets $5 for every hit. Sunday he got one hit and flew out once. The fly out was a fluke. He smoked a ball to right and the fielder threw he glove up and caught it. He never moved his feet. 5 feet either way and JD has a triple, but at least he swung the bat.

I love naps. (nice transition, huh) I had a nice nap yesterday listening to the Royals. I just don’t get to take them as often as I like. Kids, chores, busy schedules, and work greatly limit the amount of naps I get. I try, believe me, I try, but it always seems like there is something else that needs to be done (see “chores” above). As I get older, I try to get in more naps, but I seem to succeed less and less. I couldn’t sleep last night so this thought kept me awake: If I live to be 80, and I can get in two naps a week, I only have 4,160 potential naps left. If I can only get in one nap a week, that’s about 2,000. If I only get in two naps a month, I have just under 1,000 naps remaining. I do the same thing with hunting – if I hunt 4 weekends in a season (which is what I have been averaging the last few years) and I hunt until I’m sixty, I only have 80 hunting trips left. Hardly seems like I need to be looking for a new bird dog. Weird thoughts, I know. Did I mention I love naps? My unattainable goal of 2 naps a week gives me something to shoot for. It’s good to have goals!

D

Soccer, Driving, Gifts, and a thought…

Kay finished her soccer season Tuesday night with another loss. In six games, my team scored 2 goals. Partly because they never grasped the concept of soccer – work together to move the ball down the field and put the ball in the back of the goal. All 14 of the young ladies on my team thought that soccer was an individual sport, that if they didn’t go get the ball that someone else would, that if they just stood still this horrible experience would be over soon. No of them was particularly excited about running, or being aggressive, or even trying – all of which are important to soccer, especially the running part. Coaching youth soccer has taught me patience. Tuesday, that patience ran out. Early in the fourth quarter I had two defenders and a goalie watch, literally watch, as the other team dribbled between them and shot the ball on goal. My reaction? “GIRLS! GO GET THE BALL!” Followed by a sincere, “PLEASE!” I pleaded, I begged, I prodded, but I just had unaggressive girls who tried, but only a little. I spent the rest of the game, leaning against the goal post watching them try in there own little way.

Yesterday I had a good meeting with a company the makes fuel pump nozzles and gasoline vapor recovery systems. I delivered a dozen Cozy’s to the marketing manager and in return he gave me an annual project to quote. The difficult thing was the drive. 836 miles roundtrip. Coming home I was on a two lane road in Missouri, topped a hill doing 60 mph and was greeted by a truck pulling a double-wide. No chase vehicle to warn me, no shoulder to pull over onto, no where to go. So I did what any of you would do… hit the brakes and made for the ditch. He passed and I continued on none the worse than I was before. The real joy in Missouri is the number of semi-trucks on I-70. They are everywhere. Then there are the drivers that pass other cars at a snail’s pace. Never worrying that they have 14 cars behind them in the fast lane, they just go on in their own world. Don’t they know that I still had 286 miles to drive and they were drastically reducing my average speed by double digits? When you get to Kansas City, most of the traffic heads for I-80 so the roads in Kansas are much less congested!

Saturday is graduation. Sunday is Mother’s Day. I’m struggling. I don’t know what to get for graduation. I don’t know what to get for Mother’s Day. Cards. Check. Now what. Jewelry seems like a no brainer, but I just bought her two nice pieces of jewelry. Flowers? That’s what I got her the last time she graduated. Lingerie? Doesn’t really seem like an appropriate gift for the occasion – and she would say there is never an appropriate occasion. Chocolate? No. Booze? No. I pride myself on my gift giving but this one really has me stumped. Harley™ Apparel? ARRGGGHHHH! I spent an entire lunch hour trying to figure it out. Can we postpone both events? Until say October?

My last thought for the day: I was doing some searching the other day on Google for a romantic quote about love and/or marriage for our upcoming anniversary. One quote, or not so much a quote, but advise from some degree-waving psychologist type was “Foreplay begins in the kitchen.” The author’s intent was to explain that wives are in a more loving mood if the husband helps around the house and doesn’t just sit around drinking beer and expecting to be waited on. Someone who takes out the trash; does the dishes; helps with laundry; cleans the house; etc is far more attractive and more likely to be on the receiving end of great amounts of affection from his spouse. But he explains, you can’t clean the toilet once and expect results. It’s an ongoing thing, a way of life. My first thought – “Ha. This guy has never been in a relationship with anyone but himself. The amount of work one does in the home does not have a corollary effect on the amount of affection shown. Women have their own criteria for determining such things and I have not figured it out yet, even after fifteen years of marriage.” From my perspective there are dozens and dozens of other factors that go into how loving a relationship is. But then I got to thinking…what if he’s totally on? What if that is the only criteria wives consider? Have I done enough? I would love to stay here and blog some more, but I’ve got to go fold clothes and clean house… ;-)

D

40 thoughts about (for) Kimmie as she turns 40.

1. First and foremost, she is my best friend.
2. She has never looked better – except when I saw her in her wedding gown.
3. Really, she has reached forty with class, while remembering how to have fun along the way.
4. I’m happy (and proud) she’s almost done with her Master’s so that we can have our evenings back.
5. She has given me two great kids.
6. I couldn’t have married into a better family; saner, yes, but better, No.
7. I have her name tattooed on my arm, what more can I say?
8. Except for some reason, she won’t tattoo my name on her. Hmmmmm.
9. I would never buy one of those shirts that say “If you can read this the bitch fell off”. I enjoy having her ride behind me on my Harley.
10. I have forgiven her for dragging me to Coffeyville!
11. We don’t get to travel as much as we used to, without the kids that is, so I cherish all of the time we spend together.
12. She makes me feel like a kid.
13. That’s probably because she is SO much older than me.
14. I like the way she flirts!
15. My day is not complete if I don’t get to give her a hug.
16. I keep thinking that maybe, just maybe, I should take up running so she doesn’t run away!
17. Really, I do think about it, not so she doesn’t run away, but so that we can spend that time together.
18. But maybe that’s her “alone” time and she wouldn’t enjoy having me along.
19. She brought me to the Church in 1993, now I have to make her get up on Sundays – so I guess we’re even.
20. I’m only half way there… I’m glad she’s not turning 80!
21. I am looking forward to the next 30 days. I get to buy gifts for Birthday, Graduation, Mother’s Day, and Anniversary. Really. I am.
22. She looks hot on her Harley.
23. She looks hot off her Harley.
24. I really enjoy time outdoors with her – camping, fishing, football, baseball, everything.
25. I must be the luckiest guy in the world, to have a wife that enjoys a lot of the same things I do.
26. My wedding day was possibly the greatest day of my life.
27. Followed closely by watching the Comet Hale-Bopp the night we found out she was pregnant with JD and being present for the birth of both of our children.
28. I like holding hands with her.
29. She makes the BEST Lasagna.
30. I still get butterflies in my stomach when I see her in public.
31. She really is the greatest thing that ever happened to a long-haired, socially challenged nerd like me.
32. When I’m forty, I hope I have held up as well as she has.
33. If loving her is wrong, I don’t want to be right. (That would make a good title for a Country and Western song!)
34. She has taught me patience.
35. I enjoy how she makes us fashionably late to social events and church. It really makes us look important!
36. She taught me to sleep with the radio on.
37. There are a lot of things I like about her, way more than 40, but just reading a list of what I like about Kimmie would have been less entertaining.
38. Did I mention she loves football? There’s nothing better than football, snuggled under the covers on a cold October night.
39. She lets me cook sometimes.
40. I love her. Happy Birthday, Kimmie. Forty has never looked better. I would be honored to make some Lasagna as your birthday dinner?

Famous People born on May 3rd:
1903 Bing Crosby (singer, actor)
1933 James Brown (singer)
1972 Suzi Suzuki, former Japanese porn "actress" (according to Wikipedia)

On This Day In History:
1937 Margaret Mitchell won the Pulitzer Prize in fiction for Gone With the Wind.
1947 Japan's post-war constitution comes into effect.
1999 Kansas and Oklahoma were hit by an outbreak of more than 55 tornadoes, including one measured at F5 on the Fujita scale. (May 3rd must be a slow news day!)

3 May is also:
World Press Freedom Day
Constitution Day in Poland, Lithuania and Japan

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KIMMIE. I LOVE YOU.

D

BREAKING NEWS!

This photo documents the first transmission of Pig Flu to the human population. Now you know how it all got started!



D

Middle School Orientation

There were no handouts, so I had to pay attention to the presentation. This is what I learned about JDs transition to middle school, the do's and dont's, if you will. And since Kim did not go, I feel this will be educational for her.

You must drop 6th grade students off on west side of the building
NO riding bike on school property
NO cleavage showing
NO short shorts
NO crop tops
NO Tobacco or Alcohol Ads on your shirts (or presumably NO Tobacco or Alcohol products inside the shirt, but I don't think that was mentioned)
NO kids in building before 7:25 unless they eat breakfast at school
NO bullying
NO picking up or dropping off in the circle drive or you may get a ticket from one of Salina's finest
NO wheeled book bags because they don't fit in the locker
NO prescription (or non-prescription) drugs without a doctor's note

I'm sure you're saying "Gosh, there sure are a lot of 'No's' on the list", but just so you know South Middle isn't JUST about things you can't do...

You get candy for A's
You get Cougar Cash for doing good deeds
You can go to Dances
You can go to Skate Parties
You can go to The City
You can go to Sporting Events
You can go to Field Trips
You can go, provided your grades are good and you act like responsible young men and women
6th graders don't dress for PE. I assume they mean the kids won't have to change into PE clothes, not that they will have PE naked!
You can take a 9th hour -- woohoo!
The lockers are Blue
The Houses are Blue 1, Blue 2, and Blue 3
School begins August 12 and ONLY the 6th graders will be there
You shouldn't share your locker combination
If you're child is sick call in by 8:00
They also encourage the kid's to tattle, although they don't call it tattling. It's called being safe by reporting something that can cause others to not be safe, or something like that. The acronym would be BSBRSTCCOTNBS. Looks like there are a lot of BS's in there!
They also have Cougar HONOR. Which stands for:
Honesty
Ownership
Communication
Organization
Respect

Which spells HOCOR. To get HONOR, you have to use the "N" in "communication"! Oh boy, they should have hired a marketing company to help with that one...

Any way, after reading this, you know more about Middle School than Kim. Share some of this info next time you see her.

D